Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet "How are you baby?" from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: "Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!" FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, after spending a day in the ER and a day in hospital, I was recovering from emergency surgery. My boyfriend left to eat and didn't come back. He texted me 4 hours later that he was drinking with his friends and that he loved his "brown eyed girl". My eyes aren't brown. FML
Today, after my man told me to get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen, he got mad at me because I didn’t answer my phone when our son needed medicine that was downstairs. I didn’t hear it ring because I was throwing out the trash, cleaning out the fridge, and washing the dishes, like I was told to do. FML
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Top comments
yeahthatsrite 0
dump that asshole
MaryFairy 3
wow... bastard! dump his jerk ass
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Comments (135)
yeahthatsrite 0
dump that asshole
SeduceRecycle 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP, MAYBE, MAYBE he meant it as a joke... MAYBE.
Tasanasanta 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No... 35 missed calls... no. Not a joke. But how else is the man gonna eating?
SeduceRecycle 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
11, Well, MAYBE! Let us be a little positive.
LightningLadyy 0
11, just shut up.
5t3ff1k4h 47
It's possible it was a joke... but I agree. Why would he call 35 times AND text several times if it was a joke?
Tasanasanta 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, someone with comment number 17 needs to lighten up a bit T_T
Stupified 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for not giving him enough notice that you were going to be out of the kitchen! You're so inconsiderate, the man could have starved!
SeduceRecycle 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
26, Sexism. LOL.
swimmerstud 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI! You shoulda told him you were recovering from an operation.
RadAtThis01 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
win
Uruguayo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
make me a sandwich Lol!!
yeahthatsrite 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
way to just comment on my post so you're on top, guys.
moi101 0
I agree@#1
KingDingALing 9
Wow... 54 is upset because people thread-jacked her post... this is her female... Today, some people thread jacked my post just so they could be at the top. Now I'm crying about it. FML Big ******* deal. Get over it
rallets 23
Than 54
aardvarkish 17
54, you ain't seen nothing yet!
KiddNYC1O 22
54 is a noob lol
aFMLaddict 0
Always the same reactions... "Dump him". just make him cook his own ******* meal. so he'd realise it isn't that easy to cook. what an asshole.
Elicy1984 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#1 really? don't you think that she should have arranged something for him? Someone who could have stepped in and made him a loving homemade meal, is that really too much to ask? The poor man could have starved!! I hope she will learn from this.
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
go make me a sammich!
omgpewpewlazersp 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why weren't you there cooking his dinner?
j5p332 6
the dude can make his own food or go to ******* McDonalds.. there is no excuse for that behavior
iskusmarines 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I moderated this :). Did you make him a sammich?
xBrinnyBrutalx 0
What a jerk. -_-
PanteraRules 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're supposed to let us guys know everyday starting 5 days before, then put a sandwich or two in the fridge right before you leave
Siji 0
Where better to recover than behind the oven? XD jokes
mshoes12346 3
wow 7 that is offensive to all women... including me so f off, she shudve told him she got an operation, but he has no right to be a douche because he doesn't know how to cook
zakkyzebra 11
129, offensive to all women like you? no. you are the select few women that are stupider than a post
DaphneLovesDerby 2
Lull 59 is a win xD
klutzycleo 5
Uhm, how about him just making his own freaking meal if she wasn't there??
ninjacapo 2
agreee. if a guy dont treat u right dump his ass
sammyray 0
she shouldve cookes him dinner bedore the operation and left it in the fridge so he could warm it up. damn these women who dont know their roles in the kitchen. by all means work make money but you still gotta cook and clean its your job. like mowing the lawn or fixing things around the house is a mans job.
lol_ironic_life 9
Finish him!!!!!! As in dump him :) Or cook him the best meal ever then dump him lol he'll be sorry then! ;)
BLAMBLAW 0
Someones gotta be on top?
babiiphat 0
sy
zendaddy0 0
129 can you speak up and improve your grammar I'm too busy working to pay for all your shit
MaryFairy 3
wow... bastard! dump his jerk ass
Sun_Kissed18 25
Mhm, there is no reason anyone should put up with that kind of abuse
randomtroll 0
why the **** was she out of the kitchen. do I need to use my pimp hand
bigbadtim 7
Tell him to order pizza.
FerrariCake 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
They don't have pizza. The OP lives in the UK. They only have fish & chips and bangers and mash. Fairly limited options. This is why so many people immigrate to the US... pizza availability.
XZero_fml 0
your picture is awesome! Dr. Who FTW!!
CloudEnvy 17
What is Pizza?
katgurl 13
can't they just go to Italy, then ? :P
Cazzybum 11
Yeah because the UK doesn't have Dominos, pizza hut, pizza express and local takeout chains. Idiot. Op's boyfriend deserves to starve if he can't A. cook for himself or B. order in, and C. show no concern for girlfriend. I'm assuming she told him about the op ofc...
Tasanasanta 0
Way to take a joke 130! :D Now why don't you get off that high horse and join the rest of us!
FaberDriveLuv 5
wow...the guy has to learn to make his own meals.
Thawn 0
he should know how to cook. if you go way back it has always been the males responsibility to provide for the female :)
ImaCanuck 0
Ya but that doesn't mean they were suppose to cook.
pcakewafflebacon 0
ass his dump
Freeze_fml 17
I thought the males hunted animals and the females cooked them.
MsBrainDamage 0
there was no cooking they just ate the raw meat
dsbs 9
102 exactly. Op your boyfriend isn't going to eat raw mallards is he?
bethan1 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So....? Why weren't you at his house to cook his dinner?
6sick6 4
with who?
teamkakashi 18
did you not read the fml
__FML_FML_FML__ 0
it's about time you dump that asshole.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Yeah, what he said, but you probably deserve it for spoiling him or dating a brat in the first place. He has no right to pitch a fit and be so spoiled, as if you're some 1940s house slave type skivvy wife... in fact, you guys are not even married so you ydi for giving too much to someone who is just a boyfriend... stop being used!
yourlifesmellsli 0
mmmmmm, 1940s house slave type skivvy wife
lebronsux 0
8 chill your pants
MsBrainDamage 0
I agree wit 8, it's your fault for making him think he can act like a ******* baby
Phoenix1023 3
ScrabbleB I wish u were my skivvy wife
I_have_no_clue 0
He sounds like a real keeper.
Kanzy_fml 0
there's a reason why kfc or pizza hut or mcdonalds was invented jerk boyfriend
cole86 0
haha boyfriend win