Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
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Top comments
Mandy_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
nightswimmer 0
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
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Comments (256)
Mandy_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
theAdam 0
#2!
iHavetoPiss 0
LOL. IKR? But the OP can always go to a new yoga class.
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
I almost wet myself laughing. Funniest thing I've read in a while.
aback 5
Agreed. Always go for the class act, I say. :D
lolzforfun228 3
adam, 2 things. one, your 35 not 2 you ******* dumbass. two, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!
easylazy 0
You know, some people are into that kind of stuff Queefing can be quite kinky
Redneck325Ci 0
#72, it doesn't display your age, but whatever age you are; you should know the difference between "your" and "you're". You fail at life! =)
Dontogan 0
Come on, the guy that can't count (#35) fails more than a guy who forgot an apostrophe and the letter 'e.' Don't you think?
GrafxLvr 0
This could have been avoided had you simply introduced yourself. It's much easier than people think.
fkjiwefakris 0
No.
alexm778123 0
#72 was referring to the comment number (35) because the comment said second. I think you fail at life.
sugar_bear 0
Redneck325Ci, why are you talking about age? and OP that sucks. lmao
MrsNickJonas18 0
agreed.
x33mandi2008 0
Well if you want to get all technical...your period should go inside the quotation marks. But since you missed that, perhaps you fail at life :)
PumpkinTarte 0
I'm pretty sure #35's just kidding, cos his reply's under #1. Jeez, guys, chillax!
lawlfyl 0
Redneck, you're retarded. Way to jump into that conversation without knowing what's going on.
nickyzinks 0
I saw my yoga teacher and queefed in my pants :P
bink2006 0
Redneck - You used that semicolon improperly, you know. Semicolons are used to separate two independent yet related clauses. An independent clause is able to stand alone as a sentence; "#72, it doesn't display your age, but whatever age you are" is not a complete sentence.
MsTs1 0
yoga is for no life **** heads like OP, so YDI
uriel538 0
perhaps you fail because you use stupid smiley faces... by the way your hott and I want you on an ice cream cone topped with love! lol
cheapshoes13 0
ur number 35 not 2....
doglover339 4
No he is talking about him being #35 to comment
nabee26 15
OMG I would have died from embarrassment! Sorry for you!
jenn03 0
LMAO jeez
buckeyefan16 14
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
freddyisepic 2
ha.
brown_eyed_girl 0
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Laylette 21
Queefing really isn't that gross. Your ****** is kind of like a pouch and occasionally, air can get trapped in their and get pushed out when you shift positions, making a farting sound. It doesn't smell and is less disgusting than a fart; it's just embarrassing.
SiraSiemens 21
i love how in this south park episode everybody laughts abou terrance and philipps fart joke but everybody hates the queefsisters and is disgusted by them. so stupid xD
nightswimmer 0
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
ashdew13 0
hahah thats funny i would have been sooo embarrassed
lynnesey 0
haha, IKR. I probably would have tried to play it off. Somehow..
thatguy7 0
Agreed with #1
saeros_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha, that is great- YDI for doing a full split though.
imkendra 0
Not just a regular queef, but an obnoxious one? *snort* Okay, that's seriously funny. I'm having a good laugh right now! HA!
NGM_47 0
WOW!! That's just nasty...
crazy_cat_lady24 0
No, it's not. A queef sounds the same as a fart but there really nothing disgusting about it apart from the sound. A fart is disgusting, because it's a collection of smelly intestinal gassed mixed with poop particles. A queef is just air trapped in a ****** because of movements. And apart from that, there's nothing you can do about it. It just happens, mostly during sex.
RJB 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yah do realize that having a fart is funny cuz its come from a butt which isnt dirty but a queef comes from a ****** and little kids fart and comes out of there butts but should kids know about vaginas and make it so queefs are funny This reminds of the FMl where the BF thought queefs were hot and when the GF tried to do it he puked lol.
bleepyourlife 0
^^^^^^^what the hell does this (#96) say??? ^^^^^^^^^^^ i tried to read it like 5 times and i still can't understand it. is it even in english??!!
hugzandkisses666 0
say someone scrubs their butt..and then you lick it..will you most likely get some poop particles in your mouth..even just a tad..or if it's clean..it's safe?
floresntadolecnt 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HAHA! That made me laugh harder then the fml. (#169) And if you can queef on command, or it just happens sometimes, I hear that means you're loose? Like a ****. Anyone know if that's true or not?
lawlz123 0
No, no, no. That is not true at all. I'm a virgina and can do it on command. If anything, it means that you have more control.
itsucks12 0
hahahha this made me laugh so hard ^^^^ you said you are a virgina... first of all it's ****** and second how could you possibly be one hhahahahhah
janit88 0
I think they meant virgin smarty
Komatose 0
That's hot.