Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
And now you know it's time for you to go find a different fiance! Under NO circumstances is it okay for anybody to put hands on anybody!!
ryan4723 24
The advice “kiss her when she’s mad” only works in Hollywood movies lol
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Comments (8)
Rake 18
You so deserve it. Are you sure it's just a "stupid" argument? Maybe that is the problem, that you are patronizing and instead of taking her seriously you just try to kiss her when she is obviously upset. Now you have one more thing to apologize about
eellik 12
What a lousy way to excuse domestic violence.
poopface82 25
Lemme guess - men’s rights activist? He deserved it. That was battery.
Rake 18
She was protecting herself against sexual assault. Relationship or not you cannot kiss someone without permission
Lost Reggie 22
And that justifies violence? You suck.
Rake 18
He tried to kiss her without permission and she is the one who is violent? This is sexual assault!
Charlie Given 28
And now you know it's time for you to go find a different fiance! Under NO circumstances is it okay for anybody to put hands on anybody!!
ryan4723 24
The advice “kiss her when she’s mad” only works in Hollywood movies lol
stickyface 17
Ex-fiancée.
clovericous 27
While it's not okay that she hit you, kissing her to de-escalate an argument is one of the quickest ways to show her you don't care about what she's saying or her opinions.
Lost Reggie 22
Call the police, press charges, get the ring back.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
1. Kissing your fiancé during an argument was quite stupid. 2. However, that does not justify her beating your ass.
tiptoppc 21
Kissing can be assault, but so is actual assault. Sounds like you both might be stupid and take a permanent hiatus from the relationship, lest you do something even more stupid, like actually getting married and making stupidity permanent