Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
Virgins nowadays are like unicorns. There are none.
dzombie 15
I'm pretty sure that's why locks were invented.
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Comments (199)
isallwaysme 27
Virgins nowadays are like unicorns. There are none.
rawr_ily96 24
But... I'm a virgin. I'M A ******* UNICORN!!!
isallwaysme 27
There might be a slight difference
Airman1988 9
It saddens me that being a virgin is used as an insult in today's society sometimes. The way things are anymore being a virgin should be respected. Makes me fear my daughter growing up in this world.
rawr_ily96 24
We can both be unicorns!
lilhellian 27
D: I didn't say you couldn't be a unicorn! D: I just called you a naughty nun!:o
superrocket19 17
I love how 1 is talking about sweet nice unicorns and his picture is jigsaw..
lilhellian 27
Maybe!:o /).*/)
klaralynn 17
i never knew i was a unicorn... **** YEA!
Ultimate_No 7
Most people that joke about virgins are virgins themselves anyways. If you're really getting any, you wouldn't brag about it.
SweetJTBR 22
Can I be a Pegasus instead? I'd rather fly than have a horn in my head. :P
rawr_ily96 24
Good point #69. I am officially trading in my horn for the wings of a virgin angel horse.
death943 10
"Shun the nonbelievers Charlie. Shunnnnnn"
ladytigerhunts 20
Oh oh, not exactly. I'm still a virgin. I know many people who are still virgins. There just isn't many.
Trisha_aus 15
#69 but you can poke people with your head
FML_Whale 18
Guys I want to be a pegasus unicorn. Then I can fly and I have a horn in my head. Being a virgin is great.
LaucenChevaleir 6
But poking people is what gets your virgin status revoked and then you lose the horn and then you're just a horse.
sens3sfailing 25
Wow, there are so many unicorns at my engineering college, including me.... *Flys off with a horn on my head studying the physics of friendship*
Snoopy0718 14
I'm a flying unicorn. On top of that I'm 19
JoeCookieRaider 5
There might be more unicorns than you thought #1.
Wizardo 34
Its like different levels of virginity and chasteness grants you various forms of unicornism, for example a celibate would have wings, a diamond horn and when he/she runs/flies rainbows come out of its ass... amazing.
isallwaysme 27
Mother of god. What have I done to this thread.
laden_swallow09 35
123- That's right. Now I have to favorite this post merely for this thread. My sides and cheeks hurt.
Curtar2 18
yay now im a unicorn.
cblock94 7
Yay!!! I'm a unicorn! Hmmm if I gain wings, I can be an alicorn, which is even MORE rare!!!!
Hazelino 25
Unicorn reporting in.
rawr_ily96 24
I reclaim my horn. I AM PRINCESS LUNA! THOU SHALL BOW BEFORE ME! (Yeah, I'm a female brony. Deal with it. :)
roxxyfoxxy3 25
B-but...UNICORNS ARE REAL! DO NOT DENY THEIR EXISTENCE! THEY WILL PEE ON YOU! And then the daleks will exterminate you >:o
jamnglamgirlie 17
Can I be a mermaid instead?
little_one 20
When you don't screw before marriage the girl will laugh at your small dick that before then you didn't know was small. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing or even just not having one night stands, but some people can't keep in there pants. I know I couldn't but I did marry him... What he was good what can I say.
Jemm_fml 29
I just came to say that this is the most hilarious FML thread I've seen in a while. Good job, everybody! (Except you, ladytigerhunts. No applause for you. None.)
Helped 35
So true.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Can't engineers engineer us some virgins... errr..... I mean unicorns? @#26
mikeymayhem_87 15
Woops.... #96 lol
gg27787 6
I'm a unicorn, but can I be a dragon instead? Not a huge assholes one though. Like a 6 foot dragon that just went around, giving advice and flying and shit.
sens3sfailing 25
Some have. sex dolls....
frethelt 3
136 alicorn... i just read piers anthonys bearing an hourglass... the alicorn was awsome ;) murderouse little bastered
conniejoy529 10
I like your thinking on this. I'm a unicorn too!!
hashshim 23
77: "I know many virgins... there just aren't many virgins" Which ******* one? there are many and you know tgem yhere aren't?
TheImaginarySong 16
I want to join this army of unicorns! Being a virgin is awesome; I will stay a virgin the rest of my life if I can be a unicorn!
kelseysking 26
#109 that's when I lost my virginity and had my first ever boyfriend.
dzombie 15
I'm pretty sure that's why locks were invented.
DracoSpirita 21
Not all doors have locks.
tygerarmy 35
And if you live with anyone and you're in a room that doesn't have locks you don't ********** in that room.
dzombie 15
If that is the case then she should have waited until no one was home.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Hey it's perfectly okay to ********** in a room with no locks as long as you keep your ears open. Never been caught.
shorty6823 28
No excuse for the sister not to knock. Especially at 12.
Cintia07 7
Locks? Ha! I'm almost sure they were invented to try to keep zombies away. And not to prevent lil sisters walking in on you while having some alone sexy time.
1217jonathan 15
No no no no no.....bad
ladyLALAA 29
Or maybe people need to learn to respect privacy. Knocking on a door never hurt anyone.
lincolnkite 6
Splinters....
JoeCookieRaider 5
Knocking? Who knocks nowadays.
tgod2013 5
If not a lock on your room there should be one in the bathroom...
interesting33 37
Or you make people knock before they enter at all times so you have time!
anniemeece 23
If I needed privacy in a door that has no lock, I would put a door stop under the door. There are ways.
chosha_fml 27
#21 But it's so much better when there IS a lock and you don't have to concentrate on listening.
Helped 35
That's true. Good point.
MrsDruidess 23
OP YDI! You should have locked or put something, anything, behind the door. Also if you can't than try a freaking blanket so your not vag out to the whole house! If you are going to live at home with such "toys" you have got to grow the hell up and have an oz of intelligence!
cryssycakesx3 23
if no lock, you must knock.
DracoSpirita 21
Well, are you a virgin?
M_Rainbow 7
According to her sister,apparently,yes!
MoeT8979 8
No you are the kid from American Pie that ALWAYS gets caught pervin solo
lashes_to_ashes 14
You don't have locks on doors?v
ArielTheMermaid 17
Not all doors have locks
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
In my experience very few bedroom doors have locks.
Smashhoof 15
In my experience, many bedroom doors have locks, but that might just be my house.
ShyAnn29 15
My bedroom door has a lock!
DKjazz 20
My bedroom doesn't have a door. :(
spiritfang11237 16
my bedroom door's lock is broken :(
yoursucklives 36
all doors in my house have locks
Kallian_fml 21
My bedroom door has a lock, but it's on the wrong side... My parents don't like me...
JoeCookieRaider 5
No one cares what anyone's bedroom door has. Or in #92's case, anyone's bedroom.
JONNBOY88 9
How many bedrooms have you been in?
bach2121 13
Thts rough. Maybe cover with blankets and lock the door next time?
im_joking 11
Yeah I agree.. better luck next time
sulitak 27
ALWAYS cover with a damn blanket. fool
Bloodangel456 12
I don't think the FML was because she got caught I think it's because her 12 yr old sister implied that she isn't a virgin
MissEmma_fml 22
I'm pretty sure she just flat-out said her sister is a virgin, using it as an insult.
Bob_Cat_fml 14
And I'm pretty sure that what #110 was trying to say is that the little sister was implying that she (the 12-year-old) isn't herself a virgin. Not the older sister. That's indeed a FML if her little sister gets laid before her and moreover at 12.
tygerarmy 35
Why does it matter if you're a virgin? And the way you said she called you a virgin at twelve is she not one?
AKGirlinSD 20
I got that too. OP's 12-year-old sister sounded like she wasn't a virgin.
Pyro_Wolf 17
HIt could be that OP's sister isn't a virgin or she could think that being a virgin is a bad thing. With the way my generation is....I wouldn't be surprised either way..
jtthegr8 26
The first thing I thought was OP sister obviously isn't if she's talking like that
Helped 35
Agreed.
friedpwnadge 25
Tell her that it's not a plus to give away your body before you hit puberty.
yeti37 16
And then introduce her to your imaginary boyfriend. Unless you don't want her to get an imaginary pregnancy.
akiahara 14
Cheeky little shit. I'm uncertain what vibrators and virginity have in common.
BadApple88 29
Always lock the door !
young_weezy_fml 3
are you mad because she laughed, called you a virgin, or because she left
permannator 10
Definitely because she left
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Is your name Vince?
Psycho286 9
IDIOT