Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marblecakelolz 11
Time to call the parents. Now, if only you could hear them...
red_headforlife 15
Kids these days, I swear.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
bybib 20
Ouch, but in all honesty. I probably would have paid a bit more attention. Little kids don't always know when to stop with ears.
Incredidanny 5
But OP says it happened without warning. There's no way she could have expected that.
bybib 20
I disagree. The kid with something in my ear would be warning enough. Maybe i should have said something about allowing it to go on only for a few seconds at the most.
hooligyn123 18
I am pretty sure said child jammed it into his ear, as in one minute in hand, next second stabbed into ear.
red_headforlife 15
Kids these days, I swear.
Bubbelz 25
Speak for yourself, some of us are elves.
Bakarra 22
I'm dunmer! :D
MagicGiraffe 12
I'm a giraffe.
zandalee 20
I like turtles!
MermaidAnnariea 10
or merfolk, like me.
tjv3 10
Hello Nurse !
Marblecakelolz 11
Time to call the parents. Now, if only you could hear them...
dav3800 7
This has nothing to do with the FML, but what the **** is wrong with your picture?
im_joking 11
wait... can you speak up?
alullaby 21
Ouch. Contact the parents, and a real doctor too.
StarThrower 17
Not to be insensitive, but what about your other ear?...
Beeftinkle 13
I'm Russian too wana get married?
gc327072 31
Why do people keep responding to her comments with flirts? This is FML, not Zoosk. gtfo
StarThrower 17
"I'm truly privileged to look this good without clothes on, Which only means that when I sing you're jerking off, And when I'm gone you won't remember... Thank God I'm pretty" - EA
SeeSea 11
relevance?
SeeSea 11
yeah..I was gonna say..pretty sure people have TWO ears...unless OP was stupid enough to let the kid do it to both ears...
SixInchScar 8
Well, did you have a fever?
spottyblanket 8
Oh god, I would freak out!
timelessone 16
Deaf-initly see a doctor. Could be serious OP!
gmian 34
I hear ya!
HarrisonVR 17
for some reason I love seeing an fml I moderated, it makes you feel special hahaha