Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML
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Top comments
pewp 5
well, im assuming you are in high school since you went to a dance. so you may not have learned this quite yet, when you rub up on a guy's d*ck, it gets hard. what did you think you were rubbing up on when you were grinding with him? and what do you mean you stood up? were you laying down and grinding?
citylights 0
hhahahahahahahahahah
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Comments (100)
citylights 0
hhahahahahahahahahah
Allybuns 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahaha ha not funneh and I'm FAKING this laughter for a SECCOND time
RoryStorm239 0
and your spelling!! :D
immazombeastxD 0
could you feel something move in his pants? Unless you where grabbing his crotch
GameRater01 0
he lies, or did he actually pick it up?
Infamous_Hawk 6
lol "her" username is Joe
Miss_the_Man 0
Wahaha, indeedXD Fack HIS life??
facilitator 0
Coulb be joeanne for all we know, canadians are wierd like that
Nooblah 15
How can a country and it's people be "wierd?"
JBChristian 47
Don't ask me, ask them.
Tehalon 0
#3, He's a jerk? (S)he was grinding with him and steps away when (s)he thinks he gets a hard on. (most likely a he seeing as Joe doesnt sound very feminine) Don't be a frikking tease.
I_lost_the_game 25
Female, says so in the corner, or next to the name
justindrew14 29
I'm a girl as seen in the picture and I have a male name on my account there could be a ton of reasons for her having a male name on her account. Don't judge someone by the name.
hollyperk716 0
I can top that. I had a guy **** on my ass while we were grinding one time. I don't know how that's really physically possible, but apparently, it is.
Allybuns 0
um that's ******* nasty and I'm sure you're making that up
Kirlyfoo 9
Thats hot
ijrnelson 0
That's a good shout #4, I thought that was the POINT in grinding up on someone. I agree with he was lying too, probably did have a hard one, unless he actually took out his phone afterwards and proved it. So this FML is wrong on oh so many levels.
kagome_eb 0
I say you deserve it for grinning on him. gross, go learn how to dance something that doesn't include you all over a guy like that! dancing is to make the guy come to you, not make you look like...well...a dog.
cradle6 13
Yeah I hate when people grin on me. It's disgusting. They should stick to frowning.
Mr_Roboto 0
Yeah not really an FML, seems more like a 'mission accomplished' to me -Mr Roboto
Miss_the_Man 0
Way to ga man, way to go.
ellykhoshkele 0
hahahahahahahahahah
pewp 5
well, im assuming you are in high school since you went to a dance. so you may not have learned this quite yet, when you rub up on a guy's d*ck, it gets hard. what did you think you were rubbing up on when you were grinding with him? and what do you mean you stood up? were you laying down and grinding?
Youser 0
"Like"
iampunk 0
-Likes comment and reply-
hotstuff4_hockey 0
i think he was lying . he probably got hard but didnt want to say anything .