Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
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Top comments
ChampionKO 6
One hell of a smart old man.
ckoal 3
Nice... For him
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Comments (91)
ckoal 3
Nice... For him
twaumat 28
she made his day!
MagicGiraffe 12
I can't wait until I'm old >:)
abu4u 26
I can't wait to try this move here!!!
ChampionKO 6
One hell of a smart old man.
amDes 11
When I get old I'm going to try out these old people scams. They can get away with anything!
chell1894 13
They can't get away with anything because I would of slapped him so hard there would have been a hand print on his wrinkly face for weeks. Just because your old doesn't make it okay to sexually harass women.
D4ni3l96 5
Not to cause offense Chell but your profile description says "you spell words out and use proper grammar" yet you use "of" instead of "have" and "your" instead of the proper "you're."
\ 28
...except a massive multi-billion-dollar Ponzi scheme, apparently.
joe502 3
51- Highly doubtful... People on here talk a big game but in reality when the moment is presented. In a crowded situation. Most people would just shrug it off... As did OP.....
arsenicalhumor 30
#51, I can understand not letting him do that, but I think over-aggresively slapping an old person is a bit harsh of a start.. Maybe politely ask him to move his head, and then if he refuses to do so maybe give a push - or get up and move to a better spot :s.
GrinchFu1 27
There's just some things you can't get away with until your old! *sigh*
wldd0g 9
I would be smiling too, to wake up between a set of nice knockers. Makes me wanna go ride a bus.
doodlecloud 27
Be careful who you try it with - I sure as hell wouldn't let you get away with that however old you are. Dirty creep. Can't blame him for wanting it but that doesn't mean he gets to 'take matter into his own hands'. OP has a right to be able to sit on a bus without fear of being groped.
ZombieSlaya115 17
you're*
friedpwnadge 25
Guess he got a heartfelt wake up call. Or in this case breastfelt.
katie55220 14
I laughed way harder at this than I should have.
MarisaCB 16
That's one clever old man.
iLike2Teabag 27
Note to self: must try this.
mattlw 25
Better wait a few more years. When is the cutoff age at which it goes from sexual harassment to just acceptable old man behaviour?
TheNewGuy03 29
Gonna say 60+. However, you have to look the part -- you can't be this extraordinary spry, young-looking 60-year-old going around "accidentally" grabbing boobs, because you are just an ordinary perv. You gotta be wrinkled enough for people to begin to show deference to you because of your senescence.
isallwaysme 27
But everybody loves boobies. Can't blame him!
mattlw 25
If you've seen one pair.... You still want to see the rest!
BadApple88 29
Old man: 1 You: 0
MrSassypants 34
You mean old man: 2.
razz122 5
Old man: 1 boner; you: 2 boobs.
Bubbelz 25
I don't know about that. She has the privilege to look at them everyday at any given time at will. That's like being God!
im_joking 11
Maybe he was having a good dream... ;)
baileymariee 10
Well played, well played.