Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML
Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I have a date with on Friday, and for the second day in a row, I misheard her and thought she was saying something about moving in with me. Friday is our first date. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of 8 years if we should get a bigger place. She responded by insisting she get her own place. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
Missyeru 14
Run!!!
littlesarahxo 30
You mean it's been two weeks and you haven't proposed yet?
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Comments (149)
Missyeru 14
Run!!!
Shmizlish 9
#1 beat me to it. Time to be blunt with her or time to get out of there.
yeti37 16
"Run away...!" --Monty Python
kryxen 14
Yeah that's not a FML that's a RUN!
MrSassypants 34
#22 or "Run away...!" - every action or horror movie made.
swaggalikethat 22
It's a trap, Op! Don't answer!
AnOriginalName 19
I think the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch would be a better choice, #22.
DarksideDoll 31
Oh my cotton candy... Get out while you can.
martin8337 36
Run, Forrest, run!!!!
martin8337 36
Oops, looks like #17 beat me to my comment. I gave #17 a thumbs up.
j_cat187 20
"Run, run away." -Demyx
Alastor13X 8
That's a bit of a loaded question... Anyway you answer it could end badly. I say you'd better do what the others said and run. Run! Run home Charlie! And don't stop until you get there, unless it is at the gun store! May want to lock the doors behind you, too!
daisylokes 16
She probably doesn't like you and Maybe she's to coward to dump you ?
ninad7 12
well she wastes no time
1tsmenoah 20
Never good to stay with a rushing probably clingy person
niallo 23
Wastes no time becoming an ex.
Shmizlish 9
Run.
Shmizlish 9
#3 I posted the same time as #1 my bad
ThatFancyPenn 18
She wants the deeeeeeeee
BootheGhost 6
Not 100% sure why #52 got downvoted, but eh, I'm new >.>
OysterPearls 33
114, Because people on FML apologize for double commenting and similar things all the time, it's nothing special.
Alastor13X 8
Welcome to troll city, dude... There are legitimate and funny people, then there are those who purposely down rate things like they had something better to say, even though they have said nothing.
dawood_k 27
So when is she moving in? Why are you avoiding it, you have the time to post an FML why not spend some quality time, I mean give up your independence
Agtthepw 21
It's terrible how men these days try to avoid commitment! If you didn't want to marry her and be the father of her 5 children, why did you ask for her number in the first place?!
OctoDope 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I sincerely hope that was sarcasm. If so : Work on it. If not: You are a crazy woman, the kind that OP describes.
Already_Dead 15
#18, Um to date her?!?? Not every guy wants a long-lasting relationship. I'm a girl yet I find it quite understandable. Op, RUN
vipirius 18
I'm pretty sure 18 was being sarcastic, and if you were, well just know that you suck at it.
Mauskau 36
Your duck has a rooster on it's head.
UnleashedKilla1 4
18. No. Shutup. Men aren't scared of commitment. Girls will find a man who is everything she's ever looked for in a guy, and say he's like everyone else. When they know this guy is different. They know this guy can give them anything they've ever dreamed of. But they're scared to commit. When a guy truly wants something, he's gonna go get it. Men aren't scared of commitment. We'll do anything for the right person.
expectcriticism 13
the amount of stupidity from you people that are ranting. they're joking, it's sarcasm, get a clue god damn. apparently some people's brains don't work as fast as others OP I'd advise you to break things off before she signs a contract for your soul
MrSassypants 34
Joking and sarcasm on FML? Why, I never heard of such nonsense!
junkman6 22
#20.... That sarcasm was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Stop using an ACME sarcasm detector, buy a good brand. At the ranters. Thanks for the laughs.
Maverick804 11
It's only been two weeks.
Dthsapprntc 23
ACME Sarcasm detector, the only sarcasm detector you will ever need. It detects sarcasm, it detects irony, it detects puns, it even detects those terrible "that's a shitty situation" comments and automatically thumbs them down. It's the ACME Sarcasm Detector, buy one today. Guaranteed to give false positive readings, inaccurate readings and completely fail 90% of the time. ACME is not liable for misuse or comments made based on the ACME Sarcasm Detector measurements. Please use responsibly. (I realize this has nothing to do with the FML, but I couldn't resist)
ThrillJunkie 15
But wait, don't answer yet. If you order in the next 10 minutes we'll include a second ACME sarcasm detector. All for just 3 easy payments of $19.99. AND, the first 100 callers will get an additional special gift, the ACME BullShit detector! You must act now, this deal won't last long!
BootheGhost 6
All the buried comments, so many, its like a graveyard.
nerevarine94 12
Nice try OP's girlfriend.
lzmo 20
Run, run fast and don't look back
mcr2000 11
hoe needs to slow down
Badman6969 10
That's the wrong type of ho
TheHolyJuiceBox 5
kinda goes with your pic
mcr2000 11
it was autocorrect.
coach321 7
Don't make any sudden movements and back away slowly. You don't want to startle her, you never know what that would cause her to do.
warsun 27
Rape D: ....I've lost many friends to this species
OysterPearls 33
Don't joke about rape, dude. It's never funny. Ever.
bummervacation 10
Gotta love the crazies... Or not..
Ki11erC 18
Love them from afar and when it's not happening to you, otherwise as someone above said, back away slowly to a safe distance and then run, run fast, don't look back.
TheTedster 15
Tell her to slow down.
OysterPearls 33
And grab the wall.
Credibleskills 28
This girl seems wayyyy too clingy, avoid her and run!
ntherewas1 11
Dude sure he's not dating Taylor Swift?