Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
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Top comments
dreamering 16
Tell him: "she blows ... me"
jennifer93 0
wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...
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Comments (118)
laxerq18 0
first
iimaxipad 3
lol you wish son
Ali_Br_fml 33
wth if wrong with op's dad? Can't he at least not try to embarrass his kid. Parents...smh
jennifer93 0
fail
bravesfan112233 0
why did the girl let him poke her with a fork?
spazmattic 0
yes... you are
raven02 0
let him get a turn at the doll dick
jennifer93 0
wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...
Mitcha857 0
yea if I were OP not only would I say he needs to learn to respect women but also tell him to shut up and stop embarrassing both me and her
jeremey602 0
shut your pale ass up
MissBrainDamage 0
Yeah... although can I add: Hahahhahaha!!
mercuryburst 0
"Today, I was at my boyfriends house for dinner. While we were at the dining table, his father started jabbing me in the arm with his fork. When my boyfriend asked what the hell he was doing, his father replied "Just making sure she's not a blow-up doll." FML
livin_plur 0
I think it would lighten the mood really, humor is a great segue into a conversation, maybe that's just me
rends 0
That'd be an expensive blowup doll
baby_dee97 8
I love your pic!!!!!
nicobington 1
I ******* love your pic
swimmer3141 10
#6, that would just make her feel more awkward.
dreamering 16
Tell him: "she blows ... me"
zojieeu 6
lol nice :D
chickunkey 0
I somehow doubt that would work...
TimeHealsWounds 0
lol
talldude4u 3
She could be plastic (fantastic) for all you know. The father is looking out for OP >.>
sarahbella101 7
True, but at least he could watch for the girl's feelinfs. And blowups dont eat.
YacL 15
Good call, Dad... good call.
Niedermayer_20 12
priceless
igpyitl 0
forks: $6.00 meal: $27.00 your gf's first impression of your dad and new found perspective of you: priceless
paradiseisland01 0
that's a win in my books.
Zombieslayer1 0
Hey, she knows how to take care of my little friend pretty well.
lexi365 20
Wow. Atleast it couldn't have gotten anymore embarrassing.
Zombieslayer1 0
Hey, he could have pulled out the naked pictures.