Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
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Top comments
lexiemae97 9
he was running his hands over your chest? hmmmm.... I don't think his intentions were to save your life.....
jennifer93 0
hey at least you know the pool has lifeguards that do their job!
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Comments (185)
jasminea 0
that was definitely on purpose!(: I would take it as a compliment.
Candace7 19
would you also take rape as a compliment?
Livinia 11
That still doesn't excuse him from running his hands over your chest ...
Livinia 11
...his hands*...
johnnythreetears 2
I'm a lifeguard, when you see someone drowning and go in, it's a massive adrenaline rush so for one, I doubt he even remembers feeling OP up, and when getting behind the person to tow them back to safety, you have to sweep under their arms and over their chest (depending on which tow you use) but either way, I doubt he tried. how about OP learns how to swim so the lifeguard can focus on real situations
Livinia 11
Oh okay, I didn't realize that.
cc_the_beast 6
It's pretty hard to rescue someone without touching bits that aren't usually touched. paticularly when both parties are almost naked to begin with.
ThogTheCaveman 7
you know, except for CPR. That kinda requires hands on chest.
pYrO92583 0
a guy never forgets a good pair brother
cc_the_beast 6
That's my point, when you are rescuing someone, it's hands on everything...
Thabb 0
He wanted to feel your boobs.
The_Weirdo 10
Let me guess, there were three others drowning all at the same time, Amirite?
nmearayta 0
no, all comments ending in "amirite" will and are always wrong rule68
CokokoLa 0
OH crap i thumbed up instead of down.... i hate when this happens lol
a_nutritionist 10
dont worry, i thumbed it down for you.
greendaygirl112 0
no your not right
iLazy 0
Water you doing in the pool?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I see what you did there.
ThogTheCaveman 7
Well, yeah, you were supposed to see what he did there. It wasn't even subtle.
MikalaHart 4
Swimming lessons?
CountryGirl111 7
aww im sure it wasnt that bad op =)
Zombieslayer1 0
the guy knows what he's doing, don't deter him;)
soulfulemo 0
well, if some guy drowns the same time as u, u know who'd get saved first ..;) thought the life guards intentions seem to lean more towards feeling up a girl, than to saving her life.
sweet_candy_ 17
Was he cute?
BossDavyy 0
I'm guessing so. If he was cute than she would love it and not ask people to **** her life.
sweet_candy_ 17
True but she could have a boyfriend or she could be gay.
aardvarkish 17
23, the heart of the matter + a sense of humor. my thoughts exactly