Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
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Comments (68)
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
HeyitsPheddy 0
Why do all the FMLs suck right now? Uh...maybe the lifeguard just thought you were cute?
that_guy_you_are 0
I like figs. Gimme more figs for breakfast.
ASUdec 0
They just wanted ro give you a little mouth to mouth
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
miquonranger03 0
you're past high school? then it's unforgivable to screw up grammar like that. "i haven't swum since high school". plus, who the hell cares.
lolfood 24
Oh, the irony.
polishbears 4
Swum. Seriously. Why don't you learn some grammar......
iwillreapyou 19
I believe "swum" is the correct use here.
qwerty105 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you must be a shit swimmer then
4everftw 0
im betting this is bull, i hate ppl who make fake FML tht try to humor ppl, i dont mind if it's fake as long as its funny and if this was real u didnt have top post it, what's so bad about being not abl to swim properly... jeez....
Kttttt 0
I didnt know there was a proper teqnuiqe to swimming. I always thought it you stayed above the water by moving you arms/legs, it was swimming.
CryingHowls 0
#6, check your own grammar. ur retarded LOL oh and do some reading comprehension. wait, i take that back. learning to read properly is below reading comprehension. he said SWAM! how'd u get SWUM!? and OP, maybe ur just a really really messy swimmer....