Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
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Top comments
mt21mt 15
Awww, it sounds like she was there to do her job, and not there to fulfill your penthouse fantasies.
bartsj1988 7
Think on the bright side. If you were drowning, then she would have rescued you and gave you CPR. Then you'd wake up to a beautiful girl.
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Comments (10)
bartsj1988 7
Think on the bright side. If you were drowning, then she would have rescued you and gave you CPR. Then you'd wake up to a beautiful girl.
Glowworm56 27
Or you would have gotten rescued by the large hairy male lifeguard. Life is not always meant to be a romantic movie.
bartsj1988 7
Well she was looking at him so she was ready to give him the P i mean CPR
Glowworm56 27
Aw, sounds like she was worried about you. Next time, bring a pair of floaties!
mt21mt 15
Awww, it sounds like she was there to do her job, and not there to fulfill your penthouse fantasies.
SpaceToast 25
Maybe she though that you were cute too, and made up an excuse out of embarrassment for getting caught.
Cali 57
Cute AND professional!
davecross 11
Do what that kid with the glasses did in that movie the sandlot. He pretended to drown and he got the female lifeguard give him mouth to mouth so he could kiss her
tonyfan00 38
At least she was honest...?
Jasper Long 2
"The lady whose job it is to keep an eye on people in the pool wasn't interested in me FML" damn man that's pathetic