Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
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Top comments
lexiemae97 9
he was running his hands over your chest? hmmmm.... I don't think his intentions were to save your life.....
jennifer93 0
hey at least you know the pool has lifeguards that do their job!
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Comments (185)
BlkBryMolasses 0
YDI. learn how to swim for real. doggy paddling doesn't count.
tanabomb 0
U liked it
tdug 0
I have to get this out there- there is certain ways a lifeguard can make contact to save you without endangering himself, a lot of lifeguard deaths are due to the drowner diving on them, the safest and most practical carry is a chest carry, one arm going from on top of the shoulder to below the opposite armpit, if his arms weren't praticularly long he might end up nearer your chest, believe me im halfway qualified to being a lifeguard, I've done this in practice and exams on females, I agree you might think its weird but nobody would complain if their life was saved at the cost of accidental groping!
a_nutritionist 10
apparently this idiot would complain.
ryno101 3
you must either a) swim like a retard or b) have an amazing set of **** kudos to you if it's b
Lizzylibeth 2
did you play dead until he touched your chest? I'm just wondering how he didn't catch on that you were breathing until after he prepared you. He wouldn't have tried CPR if you were breathing. YDI
lucins 7
lol that was funny
paramedicgirl87 4
No where does it say that the lifeguard tried CPR 108, also you can still be breathing and begin to drown. That's the point of a lifeguard. To save you before you stop breathing. Dear OP, I don't see why you felt it necessary to tell us that the guard ran his hand over your chest.
Sirin_fml 47
Maybe because it's half the reason the situation was so bad for her. Contrary to popular belief, most women don't enjoy being molested by strangers.
a_nutritionist 10
it makes it seem like she considers it inappropriate, hence the comment.
enoughgrace 4
"mission completion."
cc_the_beast 6
It's strange to me that so many Americans don't know how to swim. In Aus EVERYONE knows how to swim.
buynak 0
when people are drowning its not like they show in the movie, If you were swimming like your trying really hard to stay above water he prob thought you were about to drown. the life guard was just doing his job.