Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
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Top comments
SeedlessMe 13
yes. you say the word 'treat' or 'cookie' in my house, you better be prepared with some for the beasts or you get harrassed!
Familia08 0
DUMBASS!
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Comments (103)
Familia08 0
DUMBASS!
hoopstar15 0
Samuel L. Jackson wit a jheri curl ftw!!!!
hawxfighter_fml 0
I'm a mushroom cloud layin mothafucka, mothafucka
andruha1123 5
life blows
andruha1123 5
idk... nothing goes my way and everything just sucks in general :)
andruha1123 5
see, that's really nice of you. wish girls like actually existed in real life :P
andruha1123 5
omg, that whole comment was a fail.., I need some sleep, it's 5:30am...
jhaynes88 0
wow I can see it now... where did you meet your husband/wife? oh I met him/her while chatting on fml... that's just sad
tekinzdudez 0
hahah get a life, both of you
mattman1994 0
30, you're picture is extremely ironic for this situation. that's pretty hilarious
bishoprsv2 0
#35 That's what I was thinking!
decoar2009 0
As long as she's good in bed. just don't spell F-U-C-K and she'll understand totally when you point to the bedroom.
andruha1123 5
at least he has you. so his life is not ******, unlike yours
ChivalrousZombie 0
Totally dumb, I hope your fiancé has a good career to support you with that doesn't require brains. Otherwise gtfo now!
bbgirlXD 6
so that the dog wouldn't understand?? are u serious ?! lol
SeedlessMe 13
yes. you say the word 'treat' or 'cookie' in my house, you better be prepared with some for the beasts or you get harrassed!
kikiwi_fml 9
Yep, they know the word treat at my house too. They'll pause and stare at you, then bark obnoxiously until they get a treat... It also works in the opposite direction with the word 'bath'.
ericafschwab 5
My dog is the same was and when he is almost 12 years old it is hard to change him. We also can't say ball or car ride. Otherwise he expects it.
R3kli3 10
I wonder if the dogs smarter than her husband...lol maybe I'm right
Primus_fml 0
Stop pointing at me, it's making me nervous.
LilAfo 4
look the other way :/
Maxi_Ghost 0
Haha, did she do any school?
nep12 0
yeah right like dogs actually understand english... Wow.
chenoa_fml 0
it's called positive associaion. The dog associates the sound of "treat" with a yummy prize, toward which (theoretically) goes all crazy for.
radmuffin 12
You're an idiot 17. Dogs can "understand" whatever language their owners teach them. They associate the words with food.
omgtacos 0
17 isn't an idiot... 17 is a ******* dipshit that knows absolutely nothing
nep12 0
yeah right now why don't you also tell me that gingers have souls ;-)
honeybunches34 0
Gingers?
lolz0701 4
17 FU
Trilly123 10
17 If you teach a dog to sit then when they will sit when you say it. If you say 'who wants a treat' whenever you give him a treat he will know what you mean of you say 'treat'.
nep12 0
and if dogs were such smart muthaf***as, then you'd just have to get a french dog instead, then you'd know it doesn't understand anything ;-)
iplaylax 0
exactly. i ******* hate small dogs, they're almost as bad as cats
MzDiVa84 0
now dat shit funny as hell