Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML
Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
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Top comments
mathsponge 0
GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid
F___M__L 0
lmfao nice
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Comments (66)
thyaftermath 0
FIRST MOTHERFUCKERS YEASH!!!!
thyaftermath 0
awh you ******* bitches why did you do that to my comment? ; (
Kaplowitz 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwlHVPbYyDc
sayyestothedress 24
What was the comment?
peoc 0
Ive seen a similar FML with 'super nanny' ... Also, please tell the person above me to go drown in a well somewhere, after being castrated with a hammer :)
xMooMoox 0
Yeah exactly, I call fake How did this even get moderated?
F___M__L 0
lmfao nice
teqifsha 0
this is exactly like the other one
quiddity 0
It's just a joke. (:
M13LO 0
all men are dogs..
Bluestrike48 0
Oo. Somebody has never gotten laid!
Finnboghi 0
Not consensually. And I agree with nuttinick - a stripper's tricks would work even better.
ehon82 3
Oh burn! Joke or not that's funny!
plexico 4
Oh, KaySL, Don't put yourself down. You're so damned sexy, we didn't get to the midget ****, you made me "**** in My Pants." Maybe next time at least one of us will be able to take off some of our clothes. Please stop being so hot ;)
KnotSlipKnoTSiC 0
YDI for dating someone into ***********
mathsponge 0
GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid
michaelcarell 0
ROFL. sounds like the office episode