Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SeedlessMe 13
yes. you say the word 'treat' or 'cookie' in my house, you better be prepared with some for the beasts or you get harrassed!
Familia08 0
DUMBASS!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
FerrariCake 2
That's because most guys think "treat" is spelled "B-L-O-W-J-O-B". Try that and see if your fiance recognizes it. Hopefully the dog won't.
turbopuss 1
haha dummy
sexxyy_babyy 0
lololol that some funny shit............... ......btw I like ur title
omgurkidding27 0
Atleast when you talk to your dog you can spell out sex so your fiancé doesn't know what you're talking about.
bishoprsv2 0
#54 No, dumbass, I was saying that's what he always posts. It's annoying seeing a comment like that from him every time the FML has to do with a gf/bf.
fortunefades 3
those five letter words can get awfully tricky
youthink_fml 0
YDI for dating a moron. I bet you're going to have kids too. Great, just great.
strange_ambition 5
Would you even have a dog? Ugh
phishlips 0
Now that's an onion in the ointment. And that onion reeks of illiteracy.
hellotayler 0
how is that and fml? it's his problem not yours