Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
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Comments (237)
calilovesneb 12
Everyone is too busy trying to figure out what a pearl necklace is, or why someone would get hard over the thought of their parents having sex that everyone is failing to miss the real question here, who the HELL tells their kids about their sex life? Especially to that extent. It's even more disturbing if this kid really is 15.
pandalover69 26
his mom meant that his dad gave her an ACTUAL pearl neckless you moron.
hatesfate 6
The fact that you don't know that pearls can actually be made into real necklaces is disturbing...
marisadc79 0
It saddens me that you can't comprehend what the person wrote. They didn't say anything about a parent mentioning their sex life and if you're thinking of pearls as a sex toy maybe you need some therapy and a boyfriend. Sounds like your patents need to do a better job of teaching you about the birds and bees and get you a reading tutor.
calilovesneb 12
Excuse me? I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only person who was confused by this.
hatesfate 6
No one else thought the OPs parents were talking to them about sex.... Maybe you and the OP should get together.
22cute 17
Op, probably no one but you will read this far. This seriously sounds like a past life issue. If you can find a trustworthy hypnotherapist who does regression one session could put your mind at rest and resolve other issues for you as well. You don't even have to believe in past lives.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
STFU ****.
videokid2000 10
I'm not sure how that is a past life problem.
urbanimpression 6
Lose your anal beads and get a life lol
marisadc79 0
Therapy and a girlfriend is what I'm thinking you need
nahbean13 3
Because instead of learning and exercising self control guys should just go and find a girl to use for their sexual frustrations. Because girlfriends aren't for relationships- just sex.
mrswren 5
Pretty sure that's not at all what the commenter meant sounds like you are very jaded
ravey 0
Someone needs to get laid pronto!
I_dont_exist 5
I'm reading your comments while I'm pooping and right now I'm thinking that ur the weird one...
MissAmz 7
Someone needs to get laid. That's what your problem is! Lol
Dusty_Busters 15
A lot is wrong with you.... A lot
feroxletum 6
Your mom getting a pearl necklace got me hard too
wangle 2
probably unrelated