Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
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Comments (237)
jayzyone 4
What I want to know is out of all the girls that said you needed to get laid, did any of them volunteer to help?
yaya4304 1
You should see a therapist.
SquishFish 15
When I hear the phrase "popped a boner"...... Eesh. Gives me the shudders.
kmoney23 0
Somebody needs. To **** you
ReverentPain926 1
Visualized* oi veh
coolsunshinebear 14
Pearl necklace relates to sex... Look up on urban dictionary... But still horrible it was his parents lol
DumbAndYoung 30
Do you have some fetish with pearls?
Pixiewolfe 46
Whenever I deal with the pain of periods, I think of the pain of the uncontrollable "boners", Ekk.
J15237 25
Um just why?