Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
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Comments (237)
dpfox 2
What the **** that's ******* disgusting.
elletex 8
Come on, is it really that difficult to spell out "that's"?
wubbazugg 5
Holy shit dude. Just no.
51blastgirl 0
Who eles but quagmire
AznSamoan52 10
Your hormones are messing with you, that's what's wrong with you. Don't worry, it's part of life. You'll sometimes pop an unexpected boner, no biggie. Just don't think about it too much.
Dallasluver19 14
Maybe he was so lonely... The sound of a women's voice turned him on.
Unbweavable 17
I'm not sure how your mom plus cum shot equals hot
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Usually, the last thing people would ever want to visualize is their parents engaged in sexual activity.
DerrickJames 33
Sigmund Frued says all children go through these incestuous thoughts while growing up. Some people hit the stage later than others.
Shrike 24
Nah. Freud's theories are long discredited. When students read his his stuff in university, it's just as a kind of primer for real psychology. So if you had lots of incestuous thoughts as a kid, well, that's disturbing.
SeleneB 1
At least it was over the phone and not in person, that would've been even more awkward.