Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
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Top comments
ObsessedWithGays 7
One thing I've learned from this website is to never help elderly people pick up their groceries.
spikedrummer49 6
****** crazy old ladies... People are ridiculous these days
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Comments (107)
ObsessedWithGays 7
One thing I've learned from this website is to never help elderly people pick up their groceries.
LadiDi_fml 10
Never try to help anyone..never...ever
doctorhook86 25
An old lady in Texas hates liberals? Well paint me red and call me Daisy, 'cuz NOW I've heard everything!
superswagbro 7
And that old people are crazy.
br0ccoli 15
My brother picked up an old lady's groceries that she dropped along the railroad tracks. She said thanks but then later found him, gave him a thank you card and $50. It's not always bad to help people. It's better off to help and get rejected than to walk away without helping. You never know, you might need their help one day.
Ren_Uchiha 11
I've learned never to help old people pick up anything, as mean as that sounds. They just get the wrong idea and assume our generation is all full of shit. Ah, gotta love old people!
MrSassypants 34
26, okay, but I think you're referring to #1, in the case that you are, #1's comment was a joke, and not actually telling people to not help out old ladies or there would be serious consequences.
MDTeddy 13
I learned from this site that you should never help people. It will backfire.
AKGirlinSD 20
Haha, I have noticed a lot of people helping and getting yelled at for doing so. I say, keep helping because you never know when someone really does need the help. Actually, if I think about it, I feel that old people trust women way more than men. I'm sure some people won't agree but I've never been yelled at and I'm 28.
mikeofthunder 13
63 - I agree. Everyone in society has pre-made perspectives on people based on their gender, age and ethnicity. Politeness and kindness is associated with females, and males are genuinely known for being rude and untrustworthy. These are simple stereotypes, but they are strictly enforced to keep everyone conformed. I've just finished my Sociology course, yet it is lodged in my brain forever :(
deBlobX 12
Ok, RULE NUMBER ONE OF TEXAS: NEVER go near old people THEY BITE (and sharpen their false teeth)
Jenna_Richards 4
I was going to say exactly this when I read this FML.
sadistmonkey 19
doctorhook86 - I'll paint you red and call you a commie.
doctorhook86 25
88: Go ahead and try, if you think you can handle Nick Fury.
ohmylanta22 5
31, our generation IS mostly full of shit.
spikedrummer49 6
****** crazy old ladies... People are ridiculous these days
ygdrassil 17
On any other website, this would have devolved into an angry thread about politics. I like FML.
pokefan813 16
You said it, 2. This one guy called the cops because his sandwich didn't contain mayonnaise. I'm starting to loose faith in this world...
vamppixie 2
Woah gram gram needs an attitude adjustment
Laby_fml 9
It's always the old ladies starting something. Maybe the right thing to do is to let them pick up their own groceries for now on.
chatoyant_fml 12
But then they'll complain about the youth not taking enough care of their elderly. So it seems like a lose-lose situation
hunterfisher98 8
Were you wearing some sort of T-shirt with a liberal statement on it?
MrSassypants 34
OP's shirt said "Liberal bastard."
doctorhook86 25
OP was a hipster. I wouldn't want him judging my "mainstream food" either.
MrSassypants 34
I know, right? Who needs Fruit Loops when you can have Vegetable Squares?
doctorhook86 25
"It's a very obscure breakfast cereal; you wouldn't have heard of it."
Kefka91 15
44, your pic made me read that in Samuel L Jackson's voice. Thank you, I needed a good laugh.
doctorhook86 25
51: Happy to oblige. I aim to entertain!
boredblonde 17
There are like 20 FMLs where a decent person tries to help the elderly and they end up with their ass kicked instead
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hell, in this world, people would probably get a reward for stealing the groceries instead.
B3Y0ND 3
The reward would be free groceries.
greenie213 23
Get the **** away then. If she wants to be an asshole then those groceries are her problem now.
Mister_Triangle 21
Technically, they were her problem to begin with...
perdix 31
You are fostering a culture of dependency on the Nanny State. If you were a proper Texas conservative, you would have punched her in the mouth and stolen all the groceries you could carry. That's the only way she'll learn to hold her groceries!
Axipiter 24
I just lost an entire mouthful of beer because of your comment. It was good beer, too. I want to be angry with you SO much, but I just can't stop laughing long enough to!
emeraldisle 30
What a ******* bitch. You can't help anyone these days without getting yelled at.
PhishloverA 14
Or your ass kicked
olpally 33
Love the username op... Lol... Just another senile old ungrateful bitch... This happens way too often. :/
mas1995 12
I don't know why politics have to be brought into everything these days.