Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML
Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hardcore_fml 0
Why would she know what you meant? Let's go through the conversation. What did you get me for my birthday? I'm going to shoot my load on your neck/chest. Now gauge the excitement upon hearing this news and discover that you're a douche. lol.
Heidi_fml 0
Um... why would she appreciate YOUR meaning as a birthday gift? Disgusting.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (214)
rebboy_2008 0
Dude... sounds better than Dirty Sanchez or something like that.
owneditup 0
LOL i can picture the conversation "so watd ur boyfriend give u?" "hey said hed get me a dirty sanchez... i think its sum fancy mexican meal" BTW OP ur nasty
shady_angel 0
hmmm... you think her dad knew what you ment?? LOL sooo funny.... you did get her a gift though right??
kitkat98_fml 0
I don't get it. what did he mean
ifinsane 6
Yeah the gift that keeps on givin
mischiefkel 17
182- a 'pearl necklace' is when a girl gives a guy a ******* and he finishes around her neck and face, and since it's white, it resembles a pearl necklace. So giving someone a pearl necklace is the polite-ish way of saying he's getting a *******.
sens3sfailing 25
HIt's a pretty shitty gift too! Happy birthday! Now suck my dick!!! -.- this is why I hate people...
haileyshelton 14
193- Oh okay, I thought it was classy anal beads.
piggybits 14
Fellatio doesn't need to be involved for one to receive a pearl necklace
bobdole 0
you should have given her the angry dragon
Heidi_fml 0
Um... why would she appreciate YOUR meaning as a birthday gift? Disgusting.
SonicRainboom 3
Pleasure > Material Goods
rabidfairy 9
yeah but it's not pleasure for her.
gizmodorner 15
some women enjoy that
gigglepants 0
#6 hey, some people enjoy it!
skatingweasel 0
At least you didnt get her a brown tie
musiclovr27 1
Whats a brown tie?
dragonstrike94 8
Lol
Cassy_fml 0
Dude, hope her parents didn't understand! Also, you shouldn't give her false expectations... I guess now you have to buy her a pearl necklace... uh, I mean with real pearls X-D!
Katatonik 0
#2 Pear Necklace aren't beads.
AlexisSilver 10
Then what is it??
allichap2012 0
When you are having sex and right before the guy cums (either oral or insertion) he pulls out and aims at the womans neck making his sperm form a necklace
iiDangerCloseBK 6
You must have some experience with that. (;
sprinkesrdelish 5
I'm just disgusted by you.
ChatAlors_fml 16
If I could thumb you up twice I'd do it
hardcore_fml 0
Why would she know what you meant? Let's go through the conversation. What did you get me for my birthday? I'm going to shoot my load on your neck/chest. Now gauge the excitement upon hearing this news and discover that you're a douche. lol.