Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
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Comments (237)
Glassmaster 0
Hopefully it was an actual necklace of pearls, not...well, the alternative.
FML123456FML 2
That's gross you think of your parents having sex and you get a boner you need help
robberry 11
That's disgusting.
noisebox 1
Maybe you were thinking of pleasure pearls
bdun 2
Are u from Arkansas? Heard that stuff is allowed over there
Rasetsu 10
I'm sure teenage guys out there have gotten boners for weirder reasons.
derecteevee 1
p
karen1991 15
O.O.........!?!?!?!?
gatorgirl2669 6
when was the last time you had a girlfriend? online dating might be an option or therapy to help with your mommie issues... dude thats just sick
becca48 0
That's gross