Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
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Comments (237)
jackblankenship 2
Completely normal. Oedipus complex.
mduffy08 8
103 - Well... That's what the guy LITERALLY typed.
Shadow_Blues 10
It took reading a few comments to understand the innuendo behind the words "pearl necklace." Dear god, why? xD
chisty87 16
Dude that's sick, you need to get laid a.s.a.p
fail_gurl21 7
wtf.... uhmmm ok.......
girlie_201597 4
Type it into urban dictionary then maybe you guys will understand why it happened .
dead_insects 18
I think it was the sexual innuendo that turned you on, nothing more...
ketress 7
Wow. Really really gross.
Fmlsea 28
thinking about sex is normal , but you know you have to do something about it when it gets to the point where hearing a innocent story about your parents leaves you visualizing or turned on . Hopefully in your case Op its just sexual frustration ,perhaps a gf or something might help.
nahbean13 3
Right. Because these days, you get a girlfriend just to relieve sexual frustration... Not to have a relationship or anything like that.
mikeofthunder 13
You must be like 15, when you're naturally horny. A natural human response to pearl necklaces. Just try to dismay your mind from images of your mother though, Anne Hathaway can help you with that dude