Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML
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Top comments
_Vamp_ 9
Well, you should've used a goddamn plate you wreckless hobo. You and your poptart-no-plate eating shenanigans. :)
s0m3guy2010 21
I've heard that can be punishable by death in Texas. Just be glad you're alive.
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Comments (138)
99jojojojo1 5
That....just suks man...
DrIDGAF 7
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OP IS A ****** ASSHOLE
spaerro 8
My mother to a tee!
changesinme 0
You're mum is a re-tart!
LiyIa_fml 8
Ha! Sounds like my Mom..... Long as you clean the crumbs its all good! Sorta....
Freeze_fml 17
Your*, retard.
DrewsFML 8
She's obviously teetering on the edge of sanity. You need to push her over so you can have the house for yourself. Crumble the entire box of poptarts over her bed as she sleeps. That should do it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
28- a retard*
abbyelizabeth 9
No pop tart crumbs be gettin' on your carpet.
ntherewas1 11
Aeoapp
SCREAM4meeee 0
well, you should have used a plate. Like come on now...
ShakeMeDown 12
Hard core parenting.
m1k30d 6
She does know what 'bastard' means, right?
Neopets_dot_com 0
Calling her child a bastard only insults herself... And over a poptart? Retarded mom you've got there.
FarSide 23
Trust me OP... I gaurantee it had nothing to do with the Pop Tart.
peteyfas 8
Sounds like the straw that broke the camels back
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
I don't blame her, you should've known better and had toaster strudel instead!
scrapmetal58 9
Wow OP, even my cat knows to be civil and use a plate when he eats a poptart. Neanderthal.
jarrettd 27
Let me explain it to people who don't know You're: means you are Your: means you in terms of ownership. Example: your car. Thank you for your time.
_Vamp_ 9
Well, you should've used a goddamn plate you wreckless hobo. You and your poptart-no-plate eating shenanigans. :)
StoryOfTheYear 15
And none of that paper shit. Use the real goods.
iranoutofnames 6
I'm gonna start calling people reckless hobos now.
CreeperIRL 14
Better watch out... That's how gingers get ya! Dot let them fool you!!!!! No0o0o0o0ooooo!!!!
Neorecon19 18
I think OP's mom needs therapy for anger management.
nick3600 22
Yeah op what are you thinking you could've killed someone!
jellitonoctopus 19
Was it worth it? Of course it was if you were having a chocolate smore poptart :)
joey1314 5
Wow #3! Was it worth it you ask. Let me as when is it ever Wroth it to have anyone talk to you the was his/her mother talked to OP. You Ignorant person
joey1314 5
Okay I will be a man. And admit my last comment had a few typos. And I apologies for that.
slushpup9696 12
No need to "apologies" for that. It wouldn't make sense.
HarveyMalone 0
Wow # 41 & 43 - you can 'apologies' all you like but you are still not much of a man - you are an unnecessarily aggressive ********.
crazychick1269 7
why is everyone so hypercritical an mean on this sight?? I mean for all we know 41 comments could be 100% sarcasm
lover_of_life 8
"hypercritical?" "sight?" *facepalm*
FarSide 23
Joey... I sense you are a victim of pattern verbal abuse.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
**** Toaster Struduls. Poptarts are the shit!
trismagestus 19
62: He could have meant hypercritical, I suppose - as in very very critical. But he follows it with 'and mean' which would be tautological. So yeah. He's got a point though: people are being quite mean to someone who could very well be a young person being verbally abused by their mother. Te summaris: I think you're all hypercritical doodyheads, so there!
s0m3guy2010 21
I've heard that can be punishable by death in Texas. Just be glad you're alive.
megapeyt 17
Two things 1. LEGIT comment on Texas. An ugly face is punishable by death 2. NICE PROFILE PIC
makevelli187 0
Lmao!
CryMoreFMLs 15
73 - I just stared at the officers with the "I'm gonna do unspeakable things to you if you get closer" look. Needless to say, the man ran away screaming. The female walked off.
mrmerino 0
Texas mind powers? More like your powers of being white, amirite?
ariannaimelda 7
I wonder what she would have said if you had spilled a crumb!
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'd be more concerned with what she'd do. Not with what she'd say.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Was it delicious? :)
iwenttherebuddy 0
My brother does that :( !!!!
tylersign 11
Why does that make you sad?
jasmineurie 3
Don't lie it was probably more than that.
forkphoe 0
Not really. More parents than you would think flip off on their kids for nothing. Just because they're having a bad day.
rredman83 0
And the mother of the year award goes to.....
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
... Your mom.
hockeydominatorc 0
No ... Ur mom and her milfing
kut19 6
Use a plate, you animal! Gosh!
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Yea and u go to hell
Eggers 2
calm your ****, there's no way he wasn't kidding (tricky double negative)