Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
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Top comments
sydneybeau 7
sounds like a blast.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?
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Comments (96)
sydneybeau 7
sounds like a blast.
fanceh 10
this reminds me of the scene in jackass when knoxville is riding the bike and they shoot him with a firetruck hose.
Iamnotmyself 17
What has happened to our rights as humans? Can a man not walk to a store and buy chocolate for his starving family without being hit by a water cannon? Can a child not play with his toy ball in the front yard without being fined for littering in the sidewalk if he leaves it there? Can I not pay a woman for favors in the back of my car?
Jvr91 8
**** the police.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^ If that's what turns you on
yoursucklives 36
i don't always hit people with a water cannon, but when i do, i hit the innocent ones.
Jvr91 8
22 yeah I have your mom dress up as a police officer
Keyman1212 14
Way to water down the situation, everyone knows you were going to the corner store to get condoms for your mum because she got a random call from some cute guy she never met. Maybe you should have run like you were getting your hair cut, that way you wouldn't have gotten sprayed all the way to California, where you'd be missed by your creeper uncle who'd cry while jacking off thinking about you, and because he had cuts on his dick from shaving his pubes. I hope you didn't tell your cat this story, because he already had to listen to bitching from your 'religious' parents about how Granny has a new boytoy.
Iamnotmyself 17
-45 Can you ****** on me? My awesomeness meter is running out.
scrapmetal58 9
^^^ Ooooh, looks like some sexy times are about to go down in FMLville. Imma grab my raincoat to watch. Grab a chair. :)
xoconnie 8
people these days still use high pressure water hoses at riots?! theyre so civil rights era with bull connor..... lol
DKParth13 5
38 cool comeback bro!!
jellitonoctopus 19
45- great combo. haha.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
23, Stay wet, my friends. O and spray responsibly.
CabooseWins 0
Sounds like the OP is in England.
XxHoPPoxX 8
haha ZING!!!!
TheCurlyTheory 0
What. The. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
hahahahepicfail 0
Haha hope u had fun
Nyolia 11
Hopefully it wasn't a brick wall.
aFatFuck 0
Would cement be better?
flamegrilled123 3
You want to hit a metal wall because it leaved an imprint
asianpandabear 0
Did you at least get your chocolate?
techweed 12
That's [partly] why I don't drink. Hangovers are a bitch
your_ma 27
You don't drink in case you don't notice a riot and get hit with a water cannon when you're hungover? Odd.
Feklfekl2222 32
He doesn't drink because he is 15 if you go by his profile.
Gnarlltrugg 0
and that matters why?
KaanTech 0
and also he is arabic muslims mostly dont drink (says the muslim turkish guy who drinks all the time)
Rico_Mal1116 0
Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?
bananabuttercup 8
Probably not. This person is obviously in England right now, and from the other person's speech style, it seems they are not British.
bananabuttercup 8
Also, the location on the other one says she lives in Canada. So... Yeah.
hahahahepicfail 0
GO CANADA!!! WOOHOO
koe4 0
YAAAA!!!
hahahahepicfail 0
YAAAAA!!!!!!! CANADA IS THE PLACE TO BE!!
Brool_Story_Co 17
Can you guys stop going around like, "yay, Canada is the best." It gets annoying when you see stuff like that on every FML posted by a Canadian.
hannahtaskey 9
I'm pretty sure it was a joke.... ^
Brool_Story_Co 17
51- There were about four comments here that got deleted. 13/14 was replying to those, not the original comment.
Stealthed 8
Nope, I'd say he's the champ who received it. Go get em son!
bellakaykid 6
Water canons and chocolate... My favorite.
WHITE3TIGER 0
no chocolate water cannons?
ollie179 21
Why buy the chocolate when you can loot it?
AnagenisisZagus 13
Right on, man.
hahahahepicfail 0
I don't get it
faithxoxox 1
They're referencing the riots, where most of it is trashing crap and looting.
hbbs93 6
Riot!!!!
SoSickWithIt 14
This reminds me of a certain scene in Scary Movie 2, where they were stuck in some sort of freezer type room, the dude ended up getting a hand job, and exploded and propelled the girl with what looked like a fire extinguisher going off, and her going flying back into the wall.
brenkite 5
reminds me if the current situation in Britain
P_to_the_AM 9
The only similarity I can see is the smashing into a wall...
randomlettrrs 8
^^and the handjob
P_to_the_AM 9
^^and of course that, yes.