Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Doortje 30
Honey, if you need to turn him on a day in advance to get him to want to have sex with you, you're doing something wrong.
cupcakegirl93 8
Either you are trying to hard or he has moved on and isn't interested... try to figure out the real reason and good luck!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
Symmetry88 0
is he gay? do you look incredibly manly? maybe it's all OP's fault for looking manly. good luck with your problem. (MANLY LOOKING FEMALE!)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Good lord, you're annoying. I feel bad for your parents.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Good lord, you're annoying. I feel bad for your parents.
FernAdele 9
what exactly were you saying...
thatnucca 36
Yes OP, some of us don't like to talk the talk... Walking the walk is all we need... It is that simple!
PandaPandy 6
no offense but lol I love his response. If he were to do this to you just reply "Ew stop" to get back at him haha
Midrash 5
just send him a pic of ur boobs next time. that's all it takes
Symmetry88 0
unless he has breast cancer so her boobs are totally mis formed and de shaped. haha then it's a total turn off
Doortje 30
Meh, I don't know, kinky texts usually do the trick too.
iseduran 5
maybe he is gay. what dude hates dirty texting?
Symmetry88 0
a gay dude hates dirty texting.
oknow21 0
hi do u kik
ReynshineCutting 10
He probably didn't like how dirty she was being. My fiancé and I aren't into dirty stuff so if I were to try and act all slutty he'd react the same way and he's definitely not gay. Far from it.
SteelCladAngel 0
my husband doesn't like the dirty talk...he's certainly not gay.
ryno101 3
i can give you my number, I will appreciate your dirty texts
erocketship 0
text me I'll take care of you , since he's not ;)
Gjohnson2208 6
Ha maybe his other girl friend.. That he is actually putting out to was the one who had his phone.... Or maybe he's just a loser...
dreday21 0
he is gay or your pussy is nasty