Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
greenmachine08 0
10 bucks says he was jerkin off while he said that
n_maher 0
hahahahahha awwww that sucks, maybe it's because you are a bit more adventurous texting that real life, that's ok, just time for a bit of a change I think :) have some fun.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
kingedoftheworld 0
first!
jade567 0
you're first! here's a cookie.
DarkPrince_fml 0
watch his comment get modded off
marinus_fml 20
#1 seems to be king of the fails..
Bubbelz 25
Noob, you should receive an IP ban for that And so should the person who installed anti-flood
gutzzzz 0
ok OP, so next time rock his world and leave him speechless. then when you txt dirty, he'll wish he had you, as it should be :p
Ms_Jessie22 8
Well next time prove to him that you are THAT good. :) Btw dirty texting ftw!
bettadenne1 0
hit tha books so that u give better brain
Peacemaker9 7
ouch...now that qualifies as a "slap to the face" moment
breakingakajav 0
rofl, at least he was honest!
imaginaryvoice 18
You should say, "I am that good in real life. Just ask your dad"
Peacemaker9 7
that's something a **** would say Abbie careful....
karina_said 0
fantasy will always be better than real life. dont sweat (:
imaginaryvoice 18
Hahaha are you saying I'm a ****?? antiflood can bite me.
Peacemaker9 7
no I am not!!!! not one bit!!!! so don't think I am...ok?
imaginaryvoice 18
Haha, I know your not. I would never do or say that. I just think it's a good comeback. Lol
Peacemaker9 7
ok well that's fair enough then..
imaginaryvoice 18
Oh shoot! I forgot about commenting on this one! Lol
Peacemaker9 7
lol damn! I was hoping u forgot!! ... I mean um....what took u so long huh??!....oh forget it, I was hoping u forgot cuz then I'd be winning this fml tag
imaginaryvoice 18
Hahahaha your not gonna win against me. lol sorry :)
Peacemaker9 7
yea I know ur looks keep distracting me lol jking.... I couldn't help saying that...
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol good one!! Haha that actually made me laugh. :) lol dafpdafpdafpdafp
gohabs21 0
17 you would say that......
tsc32 2
sleep with other guys to get better. then, when you have sex with your bf again, tell him he isn't good enough and dump him.
BriSabb 0
49 yes! that is the solution!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I have to say YDI for 'sexting' but FYL for having a dick boyfriend.
wertan10 0
all the ones i modded are on here.
JattPutt 0
True that number 29... Oh yeah... not thread jacking FTW!!!
knibbsy 4
YDI for copy/pasting the script to "Coed Cruise 74."
knibbsy 4
Which by the way, is my script that I sold to Skinemax for a whopping $318. If you used it, you owe me royalties bitch.
Ms_Jessie22 8
Really? That's kinda cool :)
Peacemaker9 7
dammit looks like I owe u $1000 then....shit let me get my wallet....fml
lucious_mama 0
epic fail.... guess you should practice what you preach...
Efilyn 0
Then be that good in real life. :/
TooCute2012 0
I agree with 7
BeyondDespair 0
Get lessons.
n_maher 0
hahahahahha awwww that sucks, maybe it's because you are a bit more adventurous texting that real life, that's ok, just time for a bit of a change I think :) have some fun.
sindy23 0
ydi for not being able to please your man
amandalovee 0
ditto! go learn something
FuckMyLife195 0
hahaha maybe you should try doing the stuff you said you'd do? -.-
greenmachine08 0
10 bucks says he was jerkin off while he said that