Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML
Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
He's just bitter you'll probably soon replace him.
MrThump 16
Need to think glass half full here.... At least you know your boss isn't going to ask you to come in early to work!
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Comments (51)
Soloman212 28
He's just bitter you'll probably soon replace him.
ShirtlessWonder 17
Considering that the guy is the boss, I kind of doubt that he's in a very easy position to be replaced. If he had said manager, sure.
Sebastian2022 22
That's totally uncalled for, but you show him how badass you'll be, OP.
rnarshmallow 21
Some people just don't appreciate an employee's enthusiasm... like #1 said, you'll replace him.
alexanderavatar 24
yeh man why try so hard to not end up homeless on the street to mainstream
purelymixed 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Stop making everyone else look bad…
Saikon1357 25
Stop being bad
MrThump 16
Need to think glass half full here.... At least you know your boss isn't going to ask you to come in early to work!
MyUsernameisEpic 29
Pretty much every FML that has "hoping to impress" in it is a YDI, but I think this is one of the few exceptions. Your boss seems like a bitter prick OP. FYL.
Mynamewontfi 40
Sounds like a boss where you can't do anything right. Show up early? You're a "******* tryhard". Show up right on time? Probably a slacker for not being there early. I guess you can't win.
pleasedie 22
Sounds like a fun working environment
jesuis_julie 21
Don't think about it too much! Just do you! ?