Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Honey, if you need to turn him on a day in advance to get him to want to have sex with you, you're doing something wrong.
cupcakegirl93 8
Either you are trying to hard or he has moved on and isn't interested... try to figure out the real reason and good luck!
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Comments (167)
cyngona1982 0
I think he's gay just saying
ArsenalFan12 0
FAIL!
lifelessons22222 0
Dump him
SnowTrooper19 0
YDI for sending dirty texts.
RyNo24 4
he is either gay and hasn't realized it yet, or your dating the dumbest guy ever.
sovietkiwi 0
maybe she was talking about how she wanted him to chain her to the bed.... I'd say ew stop to that too...
StudMuffinette 17
you would have to be reeeaaaallyyy bad at sexting to not turn on ur own boyfriend...
BigOrca 2
you can send me dirty text. nothing is too naughty for me.
theonlysweetpea 10
Maybe his definiton of dirty varies from hers? Maybe it freaked him out that you were acting like Quagmire from Family Guy rather than Lois? Maybe he wasn't in the mood
kaykay20 0
Even if he wasn't turned on I don't see why he would find sex or foreplay to be "ew" all together. Most likely just sext a position or foreplay act he wasn't into or was too dirty like on scary movie (lol but in all seriousness possible).
serenity40 6
ha ha ha I think your doing it wrong then or your boyfriend isn't into that sort of thing.