Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
InsidiousChild 0
hit it
cowjudgesyou 0
Being a black belt means nothing anymore: schools give out belts to anyone willing to put in the money. go for it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (235)
kuruno 0
do it dude he'll understand
KRS_13 0
your hair is REALLY pretty! (not meant in a lez way just a compliment)
brometheius 3
There may be the saying bros before hoes,but then again.. you're 24 and a virgin...chicks before dicks.
brandybaby1204 0
u dont screw ur best friends gf. even if u r a virgin. find someone else dummy
ndclover 3
You don't want your friend's sloppy seconds do you?
newjerseyguy 0
what he doesn't know won't hurt him, besides if he is with a **** like that he deserves it.
ryantb12345678 0
if shes really your "best mate's" girlfriend then it shouldnt even matter how pretty she is or how good of a fighter he is. your a really crappy friend for even considering it and i hope he kicks your ass anyways
OneEyedZombie 0
iT'S A TRAP
Ins0mau 20
Um. He didn't say that he actually did it...
gardenwhipped 5
tell the friend what happened. And if he is an asshole about it, stop being friends with him too. No point in going to jail or the hospital over a crazy chick.