It's called fashion, Susan, look it up

DIY

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

Home improvement

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

Sharing is caring

Today, my daughter used my towel. She thought that because it was clean, it would be okay. She’s 27. FML

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

Rude boy

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

That's the spirit

Today, I'd promised my daughter I’d make her costume for School Spirit Day, so I'd stayed up late hot-gluing fabric, only to now notice that I’d attached the sleeves upside down. She wore it anyway because there was no time to fix it, and I spent the day hoping no other parent would ask where I got it. FML

The struggle is real

Today, I spent 3 hours looking for a roll of tape. I didn't find the tape. I still need the tape. FML

Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML