Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
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Top comments
InsidiousChild 0
hit it
cowjudgesyou 0
Being a black belt means nothing anymore: schools give out belts to anyone willing to put in the money. go for it
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Comments (235)
slushpup9696 12
If I were your friend with the girlfriend and you explained the situation to me, I'd tell my girlfriend she could have sex with you because it's not like it would mean anything. I think I'd just be bro and let my girlfriend take your virginity.
nfc14 2
Hes a 24 yr old virgin this needs to happen. 1 Tell mr black belt what happened but swear him to secrecy. 2 When he dumps her be around for the shoulder to cry on. 3 Have a spare pillow
DriftingTaco 0
that... is comedy
NYCM 6
Bros over hoes
djxerxes9000 18
Bro code says no!
luciferdrive 0
What if... Since you're a virgin you won't be good your first time. She'll laugh at you for it and tell her boyfriend.
deadlydk 0
he is from Israel were black belts are earned. his friend with mire training could become a Israel commando one of the top anti-terrorism forces in the world BTW
spanishfool 0
no wonder ur a virgin. your a pussy.
horrorfreak79nj 2
Sweet lord ... don't make the mistake of taking her up on that proposition. There's a good reason your a virgin at 24, and it's most likely your a loser. The idea of a pretty, hot girl being seriously & legitimately into you simply isin't fathomable. Your probably being set-up. Hopefully you haven't done something stupid & embarrassed yourself further. (your welcome.)
horrorfreak79nj 2
Sweet lord ... don't make the mistake of taking her up on that proposition. There's a good reason your a virgin at 24, and it's most likely your a loser. The idea of a pretty, hot girl being seriously & legitimately into you simply isin't fathomable. Your probably being set-up. Hopefully you haven't done something stupid & embarrassed yourself further. (your welcome.)