Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
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Comments (390)
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
zendaddy0 0
call the cops and tell them your scared (and he has drugs on him for good measure)
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
"high school never ends" :/
nahgemsoohc 0
haha true that!! hey well!! at least he remembers when OP's birthday is;))
ImAHomosexual 0
15 that's called being a pussy. 1. Beat his ass. 2. Hit his mom with your car. 3. Wreak Havoc on his town with grenades and bombs. 4. Rape his cat. 5. Rape him.
eeppiicc 8
you don't rape cats....
ImAHomosexual 0
^ But then again that would get you arrested...
a_nutritionist 10
@39 ok you can read this 1 of 2 ways. 1. you find something objectionable about raping a cat, but make no reference to raping people and thus condone it. 2. youve tried before and found out it cant be done. im willing to overlook a possible satire in favour of labelling you creepy.
ColdplaySucks 18
Ok Jodee Blanco's please stop laughing me at me book doesn't seem to give good advise on bullying. Get a gun license, buy a shotgun & tell him to **** off or he'll get two slugs in the head.
MsSoulReaper 27
48- No hurting cats or they will find.
Trololololololo_fml 7
Call the police. I'm pretty sure that what he's doing can be categorized as bullying, threatening and stalking.
DrSweetNSour 0
ppppppp
Tommananaze6T9 4
how wood two little slimy things kill sumone? they dont even go fast enoughforsumone to notice if they got hit by one
ImAHomosexual 0
Guys. What you have to understand is that only ******* call the Po-lice. You gotta take this into your own hands. Duct tape him to his bed and light the house on fire.
YacL 15
73- People like you is the reason why the police exist.
YacL 15
are*
Bradybow 0
and you obviously are so full of insight yourself about bullying right?
Steventhe3rd 0
You can't do that the bullets would probably kill him buy a handgun and get some rubber bullets. They hurt like hell and 5 of them can stop the average man. Shoot for the body and finish him of with taser to the ass.
hey_its_kristi 0
change your phone number, get a restraining order.
tacticalnutmeg 0
Call the cops. He can be arrested for stalking.
tona01 16
find out where the bully is and what is his phone number, after that you need to call him and just breathe heavily and hang up. every once in a while write on his window " i know what you did" if done correctly your bully/stalker will be more concerned about his stalker, instead of you
ImAHomosexual 0
YacL: ******* like you are the reason bullies exist. Don't let yourself get bullied.
TheNewGuy03 29
73 has been listening to too much eminem. |the kid|
Rikkai 0
Really! xD Man, you need to stop letting him push you around. Kick his butt!
SamanthaaNicolee 18
and harassing
scrapmetal58 9
Now I'm not condoning this, I'm just throwing it out there: The Unforgiveable Cursesp
scrapmetal58 9
*Curses
lmfaoooooooooo 4
atleast he's consistent
simply_improper 1
grow some freaking balls!
_gods_will_ 0
OP. You sir are a b*tch for not doing something before now. even calling the cops would have been less of a pussy move than taking shit for over 15 years. You are pathetic. Do something or admit the fact that you are so pathetic you deserve this.
moshimoshi1993 8
I agree, grow some balls and tell him it's not your fault his life is so pathetic he has to relive his glory days as a 15 year old, but this isn't high school and he needs to grow the **** up and move on. Also you need to stop being such a bitch.
stepho14 0
seriously ? you still have your high school bully harassing you ?that sir... is really sad cuz ther are multiple ways in getting rid of him :p
stro88 6
maybe hes gay and fantasizes about you and is still in denial of his feelings.
Aim4thebullseye 4
guys u got it all wrong, what you gotta do is steal his car's wheels take all hid clothing away while he's showering ( including towels and such ) light his house on fire grease up the staircase, and put a pile of shit on the bottom of it, then you will truly have taken revenge ( while all this goes down you could **** his wife/girlfriend for a bonus )
Stu2DPot 10
Tell him to grow up. He's a loser for harassing you for this long, and must really be obsessed with you if he's found the time to call you every year.
anggface 0
well happy birthday! (:
100percentwhite 0
damn right nigga!
HelloNoora1 0
wow how did he get your phone number
darkmis1 18
Maybe he still lives in the same house with his parents.
stevendsi 0
or looked it up in a phone book
Lauren10102 3
Time to get a new phone number...
nfc14 2
write a book this and get rich off him.. would be great! Um you need to work on your happy ending though. start learning karate?
reallyseriously8 0
or put it on Facebook ?
breathemein 10
maybe he hasnt moved out of his parents house yet..lol
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
JokinglySerious 0
just kick his ass
Hoarr 0
Or maybe he just likes you.
mp1233 0
tazer or pepper spray
Lucie_love 4
Just make sure it's not expired.
smurfsarwales 9
it won't matter it will still work on his face
Lauren10102 3
Rape whistle?
Yuuki_mei 0
Pepper spray isn't allowed in Canada, :'( Only police officers can have them
tyard 3
I'd say gun but probably not legal? knife?
Lexi_Ray 5
join the military then whoop his ass
VampireKiller59 0
or he can shoot him. or cut out his tongue. or shoot him, then cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue.
chelseaaababyyy 17
actually, it'd be better to cut out his tongue, shoot his tongue in front of him, theen shoot him lol
GiggidyPants 0
because those are totally both easy fixes
xcowboys 0
probably better just to put the fear of god into him, like put a severed horses head on his bed :D
Theguy614 0
joining the military is a terrible idea im in the military and it doesn't make you tough, just go to his house with a crowbar
cldean24 4
Don't join the military to learn how to kick someone's ass. They teach you to tactfully kill people, not fist fight. -_-
SadinSherman 16
Or learn Krav Maga
omgcookeys 15
why not become a body builder and scare the pee outta him?
jo0owe 9
i think becoming a body builder only to scare him would be the biggest waste of time, just enter his house at night, tie him up and pour water on him but put the water in a red gas tank beforehand ...that should do it
minichamp116 8
That's. That's dark. I LIKE IT.
destr0yer 7
Call the cops
WIZchild 0
the same cops the half the ppl dont like til they need help? theyre not comin...
iAmScrubs 19
He's most likely an Internet predator now, while you have probably done something productive with your life.
lauderdale80_fml 0
hahahaaaaa ... so true.
Skankles 0
Haha. He just wants you to know that he cares! Or he's criminally insane... Your call.
emodude44 0
I'm gonna go with criminally insane and obsessed.
quadder 0
time to call the cops
Virginia6810 16
I agree. 34 years? restraining order maybe?
gravy_jones 0
it's his fault for letting it get this far. he should have stood his ground in high school and not become a baby back bitch as an adult
IdontWanna69 8
sounds more like a rapist.