Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
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Top comments
Kitten_love 22
I honestly saw this going a completely different and horrible direction.
HoboMeth 36
Don't do anal
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Comments (72)
Fyrepower 23
It's the golden rule
muncherofice 19
no its not the golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated so technically his girlfriend is the one who should be taking him out for drinks and hitting on him not his girlfriends dad
ZaiopePerSe 15
#34 "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" nothing specific about the same others
NickD6 14
Looks like somebody likes guys
whysobeachy 37
I guess it's not THAT awkward, though, unless the gf's dad tried to kiss (or make out with) OP.
walid820014 20
Well no shit
m1e0l 12
Hopefully he doesn't remember later or the next family dinner will be a little awkward. Yikes
weatherxveins 29
I have a feeling it's going to be awkward either way..
XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29
Wow. It's gonna be awkward tomorrow.
gotaplanstan 28
you mean if the gf's dad doesn't know whether to make breakfast or not?
Kitten_love 22
I honestly saw this going a completely different and horrible direction.
whysobeachy 37
Same here. The internet has completely ruined my innocence.
thisguy22 33
Me too... Frankly I think he got off easy.
mneill 6
...and accidentally "slipped" and did me up the bum. Is that closer to what you were expecting?
ks92 16
Eww
Obito_Uchiha651 17
Very well thought out comment good job
tj4234 36
Just imagine what might happen if you and your girlfriend have sex.
R2Y2 22
Doesn't take much imagination
andrmac 25
No imagination needed just lube!
HoboMeth 36
Don't do anal
vikky538 29
An advise well received by OP.
MidnaLink 35
Somehow I think he knew exactly what he was doing. Some people do keep their mind when drunk.
couchcat 25
Best. Father. Ever.
Obito_Uchiha651 17
I don't know about you but I'd prefer that no one's father started hitting on me
ScarletteEve 33
Not even Boruto and Himawari's, #56?