Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
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Top comments
InsidiousChild 0
hit it
cowjudgesyou 0
Being a black belt means nothing anymore: schools give out belts to anyone willing to put in the money. go for it
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Comments (235)
spike7447 13
**** her! the worse that could happen, is that he might punch you... I'd do it :-)
mohammedrun 3
that sux. fyl.
cleolappost 0
JUST DO IT!!!
oakland43 6
propositioned? WoW no wonder ur a virgin
gdcoll01 2
**** her
snegec 7
If I were you, I'd politely tell the girl that "even though I'm a virgin, I don't condone to cheating, so unless you've broken up with your boyfriend yesterday - and you haven't, because I'd have heard about it 5 minutes after it happened - this isn't happening". Just watch out for the backlash fury and the consequences of it when she tells her boyfriend a totally different story with you putting the moves on her :D
demoon_fml 7
to all who say American martial artists are just handed belts for nothing shut your mouths please. your opinions are heavily biased and wrong. I am an American martial artist who has been training for 7+ years and feel highly offended by a majority of the comments here.
CammyKarmaMendoz 0
The Perfect Word To Describe Her: FLOOZY
essex 17
No, I'm pretty sure waterboarding is classified as torture.
iluvcrazipepl 9
ohhh good luck