Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
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Top comments
reklamfox 0
Why are you friends with someone so horrible? Anyone who would do something so selfish and stupid is not a friend, they are just a jerk. It sucks that is happened to you, but maybe you should get different friends.
sublime93 0
I'm sorry fender, but you're 'stories' are not funny nor creative.
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Comments (65)
Casualt1234 0
may i say that FIRST impressions are everything?
Tobe_fml 0
I see what you did there Casualt1234 ;D
judgeymcjudge 0
Or FML could just move my comment to a totally random spot... WTF?
FenderYK 0
This FML totally sounds like the time I went to the bathroom of Carl's Junior. It was a Monday afternoon and we were driving on the freeway. I needed to use the restroom so I asked my mother to stop anywhere so I can defecate in the most comfortable way. Than I don't know if it was a gift from god or what, but there was a Carl's Junior in front of us. So my mom parked the car and I went to the bathroom :)
sublime93 0
I'm sorry fender, but you're 'stories' are not funny nor creative.
the_stereotype 0
haha, #1, you're awesome
xKuraixMitsukaix 0
Damn. You could get your roommate to clean that up. FYL.
xKuraixMitsukaix 0
Tell your friend to clean that shit up and pay for the window or w/e. Sucks man. FYL.
darren824 0
ydi because you are on this site and not cleaning up.
xKuraixMitsukaix 0
It's OP's friend's fault though.
FMLable 0
wave byebye to that spare cash.
andagi2010 0
YDI for having friends.
reset_button 0
No, he deserves it for having stupid friends
reklamfox 0
Why are you friends with someone so horrible? Anyone who would do something so selfish and stupid is not a friend, they are just a jerk. It sucks that is happened to you, but maybe you should get different friends.
thesunshotme 0
36: Time it takes to post an FML: less than a minute. It doesn't really make a difference. Now, go ahead and call me a *****/dick if it satisfies your little head.
MrBoredomioo 18
and the friend was drunk
itschris 0
Oh man that suckss ; 8th? lOl
Elamdri 0
You weren't going to get the security deposit back anyway. That is a myth.
JUDASKISS23 0
that sucks, fyl. beat your friend up.
TahvoUrpo 1
YDI For letting your friend get drunk at your apartment!
your_face 15
Agreed; why would you let your friend be there alone?