The winds of change

Great session! Same time next week!

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

Relaxed

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

Chill out zone

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

Funny story

Today, my therapist started laughing at me whilst I was telling my story. He said, "Sorry, I can't help it" and burst out laughing. FML

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

Relaxed

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

Bored

Today, while I was telling my therapist all of my inner conflicts, he fell asleep. FML

Rude awakening

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML