Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
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Top comments
InsidiousChild 0
hit it
cowjudgesyou 0
Being a black belt means nothing anymore: schools give out belts to anyone willing to put in the money. go for it
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Comments (235)
demonspeed 0
tell your friend, they break up, then go after her....on second thought don't. not worth it for just "pretty"
candiicane 12
learn2read.
Ugi 27
He wouldn't be a virgin if he had slept with her. Edit - beaten to it by 40. Ho Hum.
babygir1998 0
ouch. Don't do it!!!
0opsie 6
He didn't do it. The FML is that he wants to, which is why he mentioned being a 24-year-old virgin. But he can't because his friend will kick his ass. (not that he wouldn't deserve it)
hitmanoo 16
Do the deed. You'll have great memories while you convalesce.
smurfsarwales 9
before you **** op over, try reading the fml? he didn't have sex with her, but he really wants to. guess you're just trying to bully someone else like you, a 24year old virgin.
Dominik222 4
REMEMBER GUY CODE!!!
lajaynay 15
bros before hoes. ;D
mrjude 3
Totally do it man. It'll help him realize she's not worth his time. If not, she'll **** somebody else and thus still be cheating on him, but he'll never know!
transcedental 18
If he is your best friend - tell him what kind of girlfriend she is, he needs to know. Then make an evil plan to dump her for him after you sleep with her ]:] *evil laughter*. Nah, this is bad karma. But do tell him. If she was willing to sleep with you, someone else will be willing, too. Wish you best of luck ^^