Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?
Cads1 24
Sounds like she needs to go directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200.
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Comments (86)
DanCastellaneta 17
Kick her out of the game and call it "court orders".
shinikageWolf 15
Divorce is usually half of the stuff, and usually takes a few months to finalize all that paperwork. And if the prenup states it, if she cheats she gets nothing.
berkeleyjake 13
take the dog piece and leave her
kayj905 15
You should've just said the same thing to her, it would mean as much to her as to you.
shemademedoit 20
better hope the judge is on your side
Fou_Lou 20
And thats why monopoly is actually quite a shitty game.
dreadlocmask 15
But it's a good joke though
Eloxia 7
From this post it seems that you let your wife boss you around. You could have at least said that in a divorce you get half, but since she signed a pre-nup she only gets one house and $500 to start.
InapropriateElmo 6
Hopefully you never get a divorce. That game of Monopoly will turn into the game of Life!
1known_fml 8
How can we continue to play monopoly today? There are some much better boardgames out there!