Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?
Cads1 24
Sounds like she needs to go directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200.
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Comments (86)
SkullSphinx 10
Grow a pair? You're an adult, 'taking' other kids toys ended at the playground when you were 5.
LostInTheZone11 29
If you have a game of Tetris lying around, play that. It's a good way to kill a lot of time.
ZorroRooster 19
Kinda sucks, but Monopoly is a terrible game. She saved you from three more hours of trying to buy property and two extra hours on top of that for the subsequent yelling and arguing that goes along with it.
whitetiger13131 26
NEVER play monopoly with people you care about
russfml 31
That's when you reply with thank god for prenup, now I'll take half my belongings back lol
bgon1350 4
that's your first sign that she's thinking about.... start hiding your stuff
panicsdisaster 17
grow a pair and get back in the game.
dagarr 11
Let's hope she ment divorce in the game not in life
gintwinsmoore 20
Why don't you grow a pair??? She took your manhood and laid it out on the Monopoly board in front of everybody!!!
the_rad_brad47 18
Kick her out and take everything from her and if she says you can't do that tell her "Ya I can it's called dictating"