Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?
Cads1 24
Sounds like she needs to go directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200.
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Comments (86)
amileah13 26
Let's hope she doesn't actually mean it!
im_a_black_guy 10
I was expecting him to say that
Vidrill 22
Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?
Gillett 23
No, put his foot up....... HER ASS!
GoingCommando93 14
No, #45. Standing up for himself would've been sufficient.
Clevelandians 17
Oh **** off 52 it's a joke
mejustbeingme 4
I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.
AcieMcG 21
I wouldn't be amused either.
Kallian_fml 21
The worst part is, with how long it takes to play monopoly, OP is probably still watching and about to shoot himself due to boredom.
Cads1 24
Sounds like she needs to go directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200.
jigglypuff34 16
Sounds like someone won't get a chance at the community chest either.
im_a_black_guy 10
I don't want a chest if everyone gets a grab at it
EclipseCandy6 24
I would have flipped the board
Brandi_Faith 34
Flipping the board only ruins everyone else's fun and makes you look like a sore loser, plus everyone gets mad. Op should've told his wife they could play as a team. That way neither is bored while the game is played for hours.
Vulkfury 8
If her best friend was there should have moved in with her and said "thats called dating your best friend"
benjamn 24
Better yet her sister.
JMichael 26
Hopefully it was just a joke. a very bad one.
MrConcise 35
Please, it was clever as all hell.
YourOpinionSucks 22
Why didn't you just flip the board? She wants to ruin your fun, take everyone else's with you.
mikepzz 27
Kinda makes you sound like a whiny b*tch
cari_cat 19
Flipping the board makes you this legendary character of all funny family stories. Trust me, do it once and no one forgets.
benjamn 24
That works for a chic, if a guy does it you're just a whiney little bitch.
assassinmaster 22
LOL you get a legal scholar wife....Hope that I am as smart as your wife when I study family law
MrsDruidess 23
I dont think throwing a tantrum and flipping the game like some others are suggesting is a wise move for a grown ass man but damn, you cant just let her treat you like that. . . but since you bent over and took it, I gotta say ydi a little . . sad but true. . .
Blue_Black_fml 21
You're right. What could have OP done though, without making it a big deal or throwing tantrums, especially with the family being there? I think if I was in his place I would've said: "well I'll see you in court then". Then I would have just leave the room with a drink in my hand and pretended I'm having a good time even if I'm not playing.
Dave_Davington 34
Just tell her no? Then if she tries to force the issue, she'll be the one throwing a tantrum.
Brandi_Faith 34
I think op should've told her they can play as a team. That way neither of them is bored while the game goes on for hours. (Seriously, it's the longest game ever.)