Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
Today, my deadbeat ex-husband who works at a country club was invited to play poker with some club members as they needed a last player. He’s rubbish at poker but got some lucky hands and ended up winning £112,000 from those rich guys. Life isn’t fair. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML
Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MiSo_Delek 7
Take it all back. Consider it rent
MrRuffyboots 0
Sounds like you're just mad :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
MrRuffyboots 0
Sounds like you're just mad :P
onedayinamsterda 14
YDI ! got whipped by a granny !
airforce987 20
Sounds like you should learn how to play poker.
GhettoXmuffin 7
It's "your"... Dumb ass..
un1corns 15
26 - 'your' = possessive 'you're' = contraction, meaning 'you are' Before you go calling someone a dumbass you might want to make sure you're not one either.
GhettoXmuffin 7
No.. It's your..
GhettoXmuffin 7
26- it's "you'reself"
Nevereverland 8
Damn it! Woulda saved a lot of money if i knew you could bet your pride.
kevsnev 7
Don't be a calling station.
Cad6 24
OP, just take her car.
MiSo_Delek 7
Take it all back. Consider it rent
hemz_fml 13
Haha I like that
wlddog 14
Oh yeah. Her rent just went up $150 a month. NOW who wins?
thejargogler 4
Poker is a game of luck man.
LO388 7
Luck plays a large part in individual hands, but the game is self is entirely based in statistics and reading your opponents while not letting them know what you have. There's a reason that year after year you see many of the same faces at the final table of the world series of poker, despite thousands of talented entrants.
ladyLALAA 29
OP's got no p-p-poker face!
yahoowizard 16
Luck plays into poker as it does into sports. Only affects hand by hand action, as it does in sports by goals/points/etc. Only skill gives you that long term profit with poker as it does championships with sports. In conclusion, sounds like OP got ran over by his mother in law, and fails at bankroll management
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
yeah, but sometimes the way people hit effects every player. If grandma's hitting on all her 17's and getting a ten, then the dealer gets a 21 after drawing when he should have gotten the 10 that made the dealer bust....then she comes around and wins. I've seen people get preeeeetty upset about their poker etiquette. /
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
*mother in law. sorry, i had an instant mental image of a little old lady playing poker when i read this...don't know why
SirCharles83 13
53- you're thinking of blackjack not poker.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
ho-ly crap. and that is my que to get off fml and go to bed. I am so sorry, and thank you. that's what I get for being up for 30 hours....pure embarrassment haha
Estapc 3
Too bad you just described blackjack and not poker.
akallaan 7
Next, she'll get her daughter back and half of your stuff as well.
curryisforGs 2
The things mother in laws can do...
TheEpicMilkMan 13
Your Mother-in-law has game lol
zandalee 20
Sounds like you need to show some courage and ask your Mother in law to move out before you become enemies or you loose your self respect completely!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Sounds you you need to shut up before blowing chunks of bullshit of things you don't even know about!
DirtyMike911 0
So 8. Tell me, how does one "loose" their self respect?....
The_Hitdude 12
24-Notice how you got thumbed down more than 8 did. That should tell you who needs to shut up.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
57 - Did I comment anything else after that (besides this reply)? No? Then there was no need for your comment about me needing to 'shut up.' Thanks.
The_Hitdude 12
I would say your being a hypocrite telling 8 that they don't know what they're talking about when at 17, you most definitely haven't had any experiences kicking someone out of your own home. As for telling you to shut up, I feel it was necessary, as you felt the need to unnecessarily curse out 8.
The_Hitdude 12
*you're
cr3ativity 15
I thumbed "xXxIracebethxXx" down just because she use "xXx" in her name. She do realize that "xxx" is a reference to alcohol, right?
newmandotcom 6
#24. STFU. no one wants your opinion. Now get back in the kitchen where you belong.
wobeert 7
#66 xXx is put in front and in back of names to show that they are straght edge, it doesnt always mean alcohol.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
66 - If I knew that, I wouldn't care in the least bit. I couldn't care less if you thought I put xxx as a reference to the extreme level of pornography. 74 - I'm going to be honest and admit I don't know what straight edge is. It must not be good, though. Meh. I can't change my username, even if I wanted to.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
This is why people are put in homes.
Meowingtons500 18
Steal it all back as she sleeps. As well as anything she finds valuable. Hold it ransom until she teaches you her mad skills. :)
xk75 4
Ydi grow a spine.
klovemachine 24
Fail
downtime 13
I have a spine, does that mean I'm an awesome poker player now? Time to hit the tables!
Spectre529 12
learn how to play poker. poker face!!