Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
******* Klingon ******, they'll get you in trouble.
ICastillo 25
Yeah man that's how you get the grammar nazis pissed.
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Comments (112)
laurenlovesjb 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aww I'm sorry:( My parents always argue over the stupidest things too! But if your girlfriend really loves you, she won't let that ruin your relationship:)
happle 21
Seriously. My mom or my boyfriend's dad will say the weirdest shit, but it doesn't affect us too much afterwards.
T9FTW 20
But Selena doesn't really love YOU, huh?
raider27 7
What is the difference between Klingon Monopoly and regular Monopoly?
lilhellian 27
Names of the places, the pieces, the cards, and where it takes place.
raider27 7
#42- thanks :) is it like an adult themed Monopoly or something like that?
lilhellian 27
They have a version of that, but this isn't it, this is for trekkies or last minute gifts pretty much.
raider27 7
Thanks again 45
audrey_taylor 4
That sounds like a great night to me!
chell1894 13
Yeah that argument actually kind of counts hilarious to listen too. If I was in your girlfriend's shoes I probably wouldn't have cared and just tried not to giggle.
fmlerday19722 2
Sounds like something that might happen with my family :) everybody has crazy families
honeybadgerr 9
Hahaha your family is awesome OP. if I was your girlfriend I would ask for an adoption
choppedfisher 0
24-so she could commit incest?
honeybadgerr 9
Seriously 24... Do you not understand sarcasm...?
unknown_user5566 27
65- Are you talking to yourself? YOU were commenter #24.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Honeybadger talks to himself cause Honeybadger don't give a shit.
honeybadgerr 9
Hahaha 70 omgsh.. I'm too tired over here. Thanks for pointing out my mistake 73- you get me ;)
turkturkington 13
...every family has its endearing quirks, I suppose...
unknown_user5566 27
3- They do, and if a family claims to have no quirks, it just means they are REALLY good at hiding them. Personally I'd prefer to have a quirky family than a boring one.
newbiehere99 6
Yes I agree! This is why I always save my "Get out of free" cards.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Shoulda had a v8!
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
no.
lilhellian 27
In what way would this make a difference?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well you see, v8 is always known to put people in a good mood. With v8 in the picture, the parents would have been happily going about their game without so much as an utterance of said Klingon Hooker Homewreckage. Thus Op's girlfriend would peacefully sip her v8, enjoying the calm, family-friendly entertainment, eventually reaching such a state of euphoria from the blissfully delicious vegetable concoction that she would grow to fall in love with the Klingy family, ensuring a fantastic night for all parties involved. And that, my friend, is why he "shoulda had a v8."
lilhellian 27
When you say v8 I think of the facepalm. Honestly this would have worked better if you had a direct tv situation.
senor_awesome 14
V8 could've been present in the form of a bloody mary
ebonyirony 29
Shit I want that game.
connerwonner 7
Just get regular Monopoly
Ray_of_midnight 23
Monopoly is much more fun in the original Klingon.
Jonaahhhh 12
You should have been the Klingon diplomat and saved the day.
sugarshane007 20
And this is why Trekkies have a bad name! Next time your dad will think twice about cheating with that Klingon ***** though.
ICastillo 25
******* Klingon ******, they'll get you in trouble.
bitch_pleez 10
Not sure if the ******* was meant as an adjective or verb in that comment, but it works well both ways. Well played sir.
ICastillo 25
Yeah man that's how you get the grammar nazis pissed.
tsent8 15
Woah! His post AND his comment both had perfect grammar! You have much to teach me master.
ICastillo 25
Sir don't let them fool you, I mess up a lot.
lilhellian 27
47 He hired a personal English professor to correct his grammar!
ICastillo 25
Are you the one I hired? How do you know that? No one was supposed to know.
lilhellian 27
Nope. I'm from the C.I.A. we were monitoring your Facebook page, I saw it on there and I decided to expose you.
ICastillo 25
Oh shit um I'll be right back.... I have to go do something real quick. *deletes Facebook*
tsent8 15
Too late I'm officer Briggs from the C.I.A your coming with me.
lilhellian 27
Hurry up before the boys at the F.B.I. come after him for his Twitter!
dude1122332 9
Juice anyone?
ICastillo 25
**** your juice I'm outta here.....and #67 it's You're* *runs away laughing*
lilhellian 27
*Shoots out in the ass with my photon blaster!*
lilhellian 27
you** not out
tsent8 15
Damn grammar nazis! Taze him!
Accuraxy 10
If she really likes you she won't not come over or talk to you again just because of something your parents did.
Airman1988 9
Sheldon would be so disappointed.
killer6969 16
I see what you did there