Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?
Cads1 24
Sounds like she needs to go directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200.
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Comments (86)
abNormal62 23
In literature this is referred to as foreshadowing. Hope your marriage stays stable because I think you just got visited by the Ghost of Christmases Yet To Come
abNormal62 23
Do you not pass home do not collect $200 go directly to the courthouse
abNormal62 23
It's funny how sometimes the game of Monopoly is eerily similar to the game of Life
Hauclir 14
Now we all know who wears the pants.
randomheartthrob 7
Just leave. Id say yall have fun playing and I'm gonna go get drunk or something so see you all tomarrow. Make the wife feel bad for being a bitch
wigster 1
Make sure you donate your testicles to medical researchers when you die...they might be curious how it's possible to have ones so small.
DrCheese 16
Grow some balls and tell her to start from nothing like everyone. No free rides in monopoly.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
She's got a bug up her ass. You shouldn't have moved.
elixaaaaa 13
Your wife sounds awesome
xeno666 11
Self centered cow I would say...