Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
jamesrod885 6
its good to see consequences for actions....
wifeyHo2011 1
U do deserve that. Don't go judging people when u don't know anything
cece_miless 8
You're a douche fag
wvcheesehead 13
She was avoiding getting knocked up, a pity you did not avoid getting knocked down.
pandoraisme 14
I am 34 and get mistaken as a teenager, sometimes should just keep your stupid comments to yourself
LMFAOaMIGIT 3
Does anyone else agree that if the boyfriend beat the shit out of OP that OP was most likey right about the them being the girls kids and not just kids shes babysitting?
mami16 2
we dont know if he was her boyfriend. he could have been her brother and those kids could have been his that she was pushing
Hellostarshine92 10
What is wrong with you? In my opinion, you got EXACTLY what you deserved. There is no excuse for being presumptuous and hateful like that. Serves you right, jerk!
klx125cross 9
That would be the biggest Assholest, rudest and uncalled for remark ever! OP
GypsyRover 0
If you are going to talk shit,you better be able to back it up. If you are going to talk trash,expect a fight! Lol you let your mouth overload your ass! Lmao
september1395 7
How do you even know those were her kids? They could have been her nieces/nephews or little cousins, even younger siblings...heck maybe she was babysitting for a neighbor and decided to go to the store. You shouldn't assume things ya know.