Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
Mysterion345 11
Did the guy have like super hearing or something I mean shit if you muttered it then he shouldn't have heard it. Now on the other hand if you yelled it..... but seriously charge that bitch with assault.
HungerGames95 13
Yes god forbid she not have more children.
bananahammock9 0
Well considering it was 100% none of your business... YDI Who are you to judge anyone? How do you know she was even a teenager? I'm 30 yet i look like I'm barely 20. And FYI not ALL teen parents are the same.
naughtylez82 4
Haha ydi
22wafflesXbabe22 0
You sir, are a douche bag. Just sayin.
brewmasterg 34
Looks like she learnt her lesson. Did you?
Mauskau 36
I'd've done the same because I know a girl like that, but only if I know them.
mahli08 6
You deserve it for being a douche. You know nothing about her or her circumstances. The kids could have been her siblings or she could have been raped. Even if they are her kids, Who cares, as long as she is a good mum.
xgetxbentx 13
Ydi, it's really never "too late" to start using protection, at least she's learned her lesson, assuming that they're even her kids and not her younger cousins, siblings, nieces/nephews or kids that she's babysitting.
fatalwish 6
sounds like you may or may not have misused the word mutter...