Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
morepreetza 2
That was hilarious, and you didn't deserve physical violence to be used against you.
joolee 5
No offense but you made an assumption, voiced it out loud and was heard, and still made that last assumption that it was 'probably' her boyfriend who beat the crap out of you? Wow, I don't think its possible for you to have learnt a lesson here. YDI, maybe not the beating, but you definitely brought that upon yourself.
SanityIsOverated 3
Someone needs to take karate apparently... Not pointing any fingers here...
st333ph 12
You definitely deserve it for assuming so quickly. Asshole 101.
joea21 21
Honestly half these people would have said the same thing. So good on ya! Next time get bigger and you won't get your ass kicked!
merryhappy1887 20
Worth it haha
fadingaway 17
Everyone is saying they might not have been her kids, but even if they were, so what? Teen mothers can be good mothers. It doesn't give you the right to be a douchebag and make some ridiculous comment, as if her life is any of your business. YDI.
Tidus0 17
YDI irrespective who it is you shouldn't judge. My sister had her first at 15 and has done a way better job than many 30 year olds. I don't condone teenage pregnancy but you don't know the support network one may have with their child.
Bright_Lights 14
Why is everyone saying YDI?! That stupid woman and her 'boyfriend' deserved it. God damn teenagers today, getting pregnant at 13 etc. It's disgusting. I would've said the exact same thing as the guy.
Tidus0 17
Because your judgmental and don't know who they are. The only time it's ok to "judge" is when you know full well the child is theirs, they are on welfare and are stocking up on alcohol and junk food and the kids clothes are tatty and unclean yeah maybe but no. It's not ones job to judge another. I hope one day you do say something with your big head and have to try get yourself out of it. Not every teen with a child is a bad mum and not every mother who is at what you think is a normal mum age is a good mum.
Dracoboxer357 36
230- And you would have been just as ignorant as Op was to even feel the need to be so self-righteous in voicing your judgmental opinion. Really kid, just who are You to walk around dispensing your worldly wisdom to people that you don't know their circumstances? Forgetting the fact that woman and her children's life's are none of your business in the least, why would you even feel the need to be so rude to a stranger? Do you seriously think she needs your attitude in her life on top of raising two kids so young, assuming she is a teenager? Should she constantly be berated in public, every time she steps outside for this if she is a teen? Grow up a little more, kid. You might legally be an adult, but with that childish attitude, you're miles away from being a man. :p
Bright_Lights 14
Yes, she should constantly be berated in public every time she steps outside. Maybe it would teach her the values of purity, or even better, BIRTH CONTROL! She made that stupid decision, and she should be reminded of that every day. What, did she think she would go to the mall with her little child and people would come over applauding her? "Wow, well done honey, you were so brave to be different from the rest of society, and get pregnant so young! Let's all praise her individualism!". No, they'd think "what a dirty, disgusting ****" as they should.
tyrecius 4
Maybe they weren't even her kids. She could've been babysitting. :p Even if they were, what's it to you?