Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML
Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML
Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML
Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML
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Top comments
TaliaTerror 5
Way to be cocky. YDI
nadnerbz 6
Learn to keep your mouth shut
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Comments (136)
ohcoolstorybro 14
Acting tough fail. this children is why you shouldn't try to be cool
domking1315 20
^That, #1 is why you shouldnt try and be funny
alexup24 13
OP, what were you thinking. Just picking a fight is stupid.
ajeppsen 25
There's a difference between picking a fight and self defense
happle 21
OP wasn't doing either.
iiTsAJ 5
People still read newspapers?
deviable 9
He was pretty stupid going for a jibe, but at least he stood up for his friend.
StoryOfTheYear 15
67- I love the sports section on Sundays and Monday's during the NFL season. Just throwing that out there.
ItsPersonal 6
1-he wasn't trying to be cool he was trying to help his friend out
beachyballerina 12
Haha!
deliriousbasil 0
Boooooh! Newspapers won't disappear just because of smartphones! Go with it ;)
fluorescentadole_fml 8
and you shouldn't try to sound cool either, 1
TaliaTerror 5
Way to be cocky. YDI
boxbrandon11 20
Yea! You show them OP!
polkadots123 2
Is YDI you're da idiot or you dumb idiot? Sorry I'm not very familiar with this...
yoursucklives 36
it's you deserved it
Helenarth 6
Me too! So I'm not the only one... That makes me feel better.
steak87 1
Spoken like a bully
tjv3 10
You shouldn't talk mess unless you can defend yourself. Sorry you had to learn that the hard way. BUT I'm glad to see you take a stand. Take some self defense classes and next time it will be different
nadnerbz 6
Learn to keep your mouth shut
jtthegr8 26
This fml sounds incredibly fake
boating_guy 33
I'd thumb this comment up...but it has 69 likes
Magex 12
Wow I feel your pain... one time some guy beat me so hard I too pooped my pants
domking1315 20
Cool story bro
idntwannaknow 3
I see what you did there...
alexup24 13
26- Thanks for using that overused "joke." We really didn't need to know that you got it.
Averance 8
Is this a bobs burgers joke?
Xythenol 6
Bad Luck Brian?
richy90255 8
This could be a fml
williamh327 5
Loser!
LMFAOtoFUNNY 2
Maybe if you say that, you should be able to back it up.
sarahlouise0506 10
Real friends do everything together! OP just wanted his share
loufol22 5
That's what I thought???!!! At the end did they say that's what I thought? Way to be cocky!
aceangel6 4
Don`t tease the monkeys! Thats what happens when you tease the monkeys!
dragynfyre 4
usually they throw poo. this time they threw a beating.
ladyLALAA 29
Sometimes monkey bite and rip out your Bali plaits and you end up with balled patches!
iviviii 0
^That didn't sound stupid at all...
ladyLALAA 29
Thumb me down 103, but this really happened to me in Bali! I had bright beads in my hair and when petting monkeys they attacked me. Had to get a tetanus shot, ouch!
WCARlover 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what you get for talking shit. Hey I rhymed xD
olpally 33
*golfer's clap* want a cookie?? Too bad, none for you!
MaddieLynn123 7
8 - no shit!
MaddieLynn123 7
8 - no shit!
WCARlover 35
Sorry I just didn't notice at first :( *accepts my poor comment status*
olpally 33
I forgive you WCARlover... At least you're honest :)
MCTime 12
That can be a slant rhyme. You didn't fail completely, at least not in my eyes.
nofearjenshere 12
Next time, don't try your luck. It could get worse than this.
adriandba94 2
No doubt
jhc240sx 1
Yo wats up jen! U look like a pretty chill person. Wanna chat!?:p lol
KitaBrah 0
That wouldn't have happened if you could have been normal an just gotten a smart phone instead of a news paper-___-
Shrike 24
Get the **** off my planet. Please?
KitaBrah 0
Oooh someone seems a little upset(: good.