Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chocolateybar 0
YOUR FRIEND ROCKS :">
YUMmMm 0
LOL! your guy frnd IS amazing :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (272)
Loosifur 0
that just shows your friend has a sense of humor. but I agree, your life sucks because of the awkward moment.
mitch707 0
Why FML? Dont be so homophobic OP
Renesaga 8
It's an FML because of the dirty looks, not because OP's homophobic.
fionawade 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ouch
LexaDear 0
xD that's hilarious!
itsbecca 11
Your friend is AMAZING.
WolfsGuns 0
that's a little bit harsh don't you think 6? I mean, he is the op's friend so....
verymerry 6
ha ha ha !!!! owned op. however I don't get y that wud work. do gay partners really need condoms???? I mean really wat can happen.
monnanon 14
would you stick your dick in someones butt without wrapping it?I would hope not, no matter how "clean" it seems up there theres still all sorts of germs. Condoms are not just used to prevent pregnancy.
Theblue_fml 0
STDs like AIDs. You can transfer that through your butthole too, sir.
linamerri 0
ur hot
amazinggbaby 2
14 they can get stds.
Neon_Radikal 0
they could get STI's and what not.
WolfsGuns 0
that's a little bit harsh 6, I mean, he is the op's friend and what harm could have come from that?
FMLRevoluSean 0
#10 Sam is thirteen so I doubt it...
WolfsGuns 0
that's a little bit harsh 6, I mean, he is the op's friend so.....
WolfsGuns 0
you guys are some haters.....
ericownz101 0
raleigh u look straight up gangster bro
RaIeigh 0
Ahah, thank you :P.
xoxo56836757xoxo 0
let me guess WolfGuns, ur comments didnt show up so you repeated it two more times. yea. i hate it when that happens :(
HollyElizabethHo 0
He was juss playin. Don't be such a bitch(:
thor89 0
Thanks babe you're welcome babe
olivesaur 0
that's awesome. your friend rocks.
buddybudda 0
haha I would just say hell ya just you and me to night. Then everyone would probably run away, it would be funny to me.
lagodfatha 0
you shoulda just gone with it lol that woulda been hilarious
StoryOfTheYear 15
28- gays creep the **** out of me unless they don't do anything awkward around me and act like a half-normal person
luis420 0
agree wit 37
JJ1989 6
That's funny. but those people should die in a hole for giving you dirty looks. they obviously have something against gays. -.-
FMLRevoluSean 0
I, my, my, me, me, me, me, me, me, Op, do you only ever think about yourself?
bishoprsv2 0
Why would you vote YDI? it's not his fault his friend said that.
alleyx3 0
priceless.
mirrormirroronth 0
ydi op u know that the girl buys the condoms I hate antiflood
andruha1123 5
omg that's ******* awesome!!! oh and rawr I don't like the "cupcake" in you picture
KiddNYC1O 22
lmfaoo some shit I'd do minus the kiss unless it's my bro
ericownz101 0
1- hi sam! lol long time no talk
MichieBabiie 0
Wow can I get your friends number? He sounds like fun xD
suppressed08 2
you're friends are the shit :) what's with the dirty stares from people in the shop? tell them to **** off. what you should of done was go to hug your mate when he did it, and not let go. then ask if he's got some money for HIS condoms:P
doo_da_doo 0
I don't mind gays unless they're like kissing and all that in public.
haydos93 0
this isn't an fml. you should have just went along with it as he walked off smack him on the arse. then look at everyone and see the reaction.
liveloveandownit 0
People are too squeemish these days. Hell just for the fun of seeing peoples reactions I have gone into a drug store with a male friend hand in hand and we would ask all the co workers to direct us to the family sized home enema packs. Needless to say many of them were embarassed or creeped out by two guys arm in arm looking to clean themselves out. It was hilarious.
FMLRevoluSean 0
I'm not gay cuz I like *******.
ladiesman14 0
quick get an std and aids test. he may have kissed other guys schmuks, ballsacks. or spinchters too.
samantha_durano 6
hi Eric. Sean we all know you love ******* lol.
vollyball921 0
HAHAHA
FMLRevoluSean 0
Yes Sam but remember I like both kind of pussy and I only get one. Cats don't really make my weewee a happy weewee.
samantha_durano 6
HA I get lots of pussy. (jk) sorry about your problems though Sean haha. and I know Jimmy lol I need to work on my "addiction." (:
FMLRevoluSean 0
yeah I don't mind people being gay it's just the high pitched voices, odd hairstyles, tight clothes, and the idea of man on man sex that is nasty to me.
samantha_durano 6
lol I know! apparently she's "to straight for me" hahah :D whatever she loves me. (in bed)
Xanax_Pazzo 0
lmfao. I just wouldn't went with it, if I was a guy lol. me and my girl friend always do lesbian shit haha. man fun times ;)
samantha_durano 6
#10: ahaha no way(: I watched that kid for like 2 hours, we played hockey and he kicked my ass.
ticklemechantell 0
it's moments lke the OPs that make me wish I had a penis =( I would scar the world for life.
ticklemechantell 0
ohh and sean, that also works with "at night" =D
LucianDeSouza 4
hahah ok this is funny .
lizyray 0
I know right that would have been ******* halarious!
Bellamafiosos 0
haha sounds fuxkin awsome id like to have ur friend gives me the idea to do it to one of my girlfriends gettin lube an talk bout our strap we will wear woo hoo
Notjustanother1 0
112 can I see what type of lesbian shit you and your friend do
120796gators 0
eat is antiflood it won't let me post comments sometimes?
Asadsackopotatoe 0
hahaha something id do
u_killed_kenny_ 0
time to slip the dick
newmanlyman3 8
have Fun love birds XD
mikemalk123 0
that's just an awesome joke, the only way you could be offended by that is if you're a closet gay
coolbeens76 0
lmao at 7. nice cat
coolbeens76 0
stfu 90 u suck rats
Sniper3000 0
sam i have that same exact phone!!!!
samantha_durano 6
lol, why thankyou 159. (:
gabyy323 0
lol sounds like something I would have done if I was a guy.
someone2me2 1
Where do you live? Kansas I would kiss him, that would teach him!
MaiyaLia 0
Lol that is funny
Adrian66_fml 0
... 0.0 Ahhhhhh ha ha!!!! That is so freaking awesome!!!!
skitzoyd 0
37 ur an asshole
chick123 0
agreed ^_^
hollowaybrady34 6
alley is your last name yee?
klutz0007 0
That's amazing. lmao
Jarl_the_Elite 27
#43. Or showing love in public.
TheLemonMan 24
Stop perpetuating gender stereotypes.
chocolateybar 0
YOUR FRIEND ROCKS :">
ilovemydoodle123 0
AGREED!
ghm1234 0
What's wrong with being gay!
BM13HC 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if I was you I would kick him in the nuts and call him "Get off me, perverted freak"
Blue_Coconuts 7
My buddy does that all the time, when he gets me a beer or someting.
ranamile 0
Did you know? THATS NOT FUNNY!
Daffodilly 14
You have no sense of humor
cmatthewf 0
lol that's funny. I did that to my friend at the movie theater when he was bored and paid my way in a movie. unfortunately he hit me.
soccerguy77 0
your friend wants to show everyone he can get laid... to a guy atleast..
gothrockerkid 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
u need new friends son. Shoulda punched him and told him "I dnt know you **** off!" =D
WolfsGuns 0
really, you guys are some haters, who gives a **** what a bunch of stangers think
awesomeamandas 37
you need a new sense of humour, son. who cares what a group of strangers that you'll probably never meet again is going to think about you?
YUMmMm 0
LOL! your guy frnd IS amazing :P
cheapshoes13 0
#17 is gorgeous in her pic
gothrockerkid 0
U need new friends son. Shoulda punched him and told him "I dnt kno you, **** off!!" =D
mojo5678 5
No matter how many times you post this comment people are still going to hate it
Thoricsteam20 24
I think it's funny how you got more likes than the actual comment.
R3kli3 10
wow that's hot