Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (231)
j_cat187 20
Never pick a fight you can't win, unless you like getting laid out.
kumonsucks 7
This is a FYL cause he did mutter it to himself why should some rando beat the shit outta him
SpaceCadet87 0
I would have thought the same thing, Op. fyl
wairdt 5
I guess her boyfriend couldn't help it either...
turdontoast 8
That will teach you not to judge. And who's to say those were her kids? How do you know she wasn't babysitting?
ineslovescats 5
Ever think maybe they weren't her kids.... Like my twin sister has me babysit her kids all the time and I get sneered at by assholes such as yourself who don't know SHIT about me or the situation.
HayJay316 9
Didnt check yourself and wrecked yourself YDI bitch.
HayJay316 9
She might be baby sitting or they might be her kids you have no right to judge her some dicks like you ask for it.
Dracoboxer357 36
It may completely redundant to repeat what's already been said.... But seriously? You just had to open your mouth and judge someone on the drop of a hat? How exactly didn't you deserve that? Lesson learned I hope, considering you're posting your epic failure, dumb ass. :p
mrod5193 3
He probably got pissed cuz they probably aren't even his kids, haha